Nigella's Recipe for the Cold

Written by j.w.

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

image for Nigella's Recipe for the Cold
Turkey a la Coke

In the run up to Christmas Nigella Breaklaw has published her special recipes for the festive season.

'I wanted to provide recipes for people who were worried about the cold weather' she advised food taster, Joanas Weed, 'here are some ideas to keep you warm when the electricity becomes too expensive.'

We can exclusively release details of one recipe which will warm the hearts of many an old age pensioner.

First you need to obtain the ingredients. Take a taxi to the most posh outlets in London to obtain: A Cold Turkey, Sage, Onion and a large supply of Coke, but never Diet Coke it simply doesn't work. 'As my husband says' Nigella murmured 'the true art of cooking is in the preparation so you must find the finest Coke and mix it well with Brandy from Harrods'

'Soak the Turkey in a plentiful supply of Coke and Brandy for five hours, using the sage and onion for stuffing and place the bird in a hot oven for three hours'

'I tell no lie' she whispered 'this is no dish for a pleb.'

We were assured that on eating the Turkey we would feel the warmth of the Coke and forget the freezing temperatures.

'This a dish to die for' she emphasised.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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