Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

Funny story written by Harry Buttz

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

image for Proof U.S. Lawmakers Don't Know The Difference Between Sh*t and Shinola

WASHINGTON DC - Washington politics weren't the only thing stinking to high heaven on Capitol Hill this week. Although at first it was hard to distinguish, lawmakers finally realized there was a pungent odor eminating from the floor of the Senate, and it wasn't the usual bullshi* stink created by their non-bipartisanship rhetoric.

"I mean there is always a cloud of stank in that room and enough crap to require 'hip-waders'" one intern was over heard to say, "but this was a stink of a different caliber".

Lawmakers stopped what they were doing, which was voting on the appropriate time to adjourn for lunch, and managed to take a vote on whether or not they should vote on locating the source of the nose punishing odor.

Hours later while the consensus was pointing to establishing a commitee to 'look into' the possibility of establishing a commitee to investigate the source of said smell, Senator Jack Noff(R)Texas; reportedly exclaimed loudly "ewe, Senator Licker has poopy on his shoes!".

Attention turned to Senator Peter Licker(D)Fl; who had a bewildered look on his face. While the other senators were crowding around Senator Licker to have a look and a sniff, Licker was explaining that he used a 'new' shoe polish that morning, but couldn't understand what all the hubris was about. "This new shoe polish is the perfect shade of brown" Licker commented.

The senate was later adjorned until a commitee to decifer the composition of the 'organic matter' found on Senator Licker's shoes could be established. "The senate was split on the matter but I know shi* when I smell it" quipped the same intern.

"That was no shoe polish, it was definately some kind of post-consumer by-product" stated Senator Galvano of Florida, "At least I know the difference between my ass and a hole in the ground" chided Galvano as he stuffed tufts of toilet paper into a small hole in the ground outside of the Capitol Building.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more