Traffic Wardens go undercover
Unwitting motorists are being caught out by very underhanded tactics, which are increasingly being employed by some councils in England. There have been reports of motorists being issued with parking fines, in the time it takes them to walk from thei...
Read full storyRussell Brand and Katy Perry Divorce
Mere moments after saying, "I do!", Russell Brand and Katy Perry and Russell Brand have jointly announced their divorce. "Russell Brand and Katy Perry are overjoyed to confirm that their marriage was terminated via divorce on Saturday, October 23.
Read full storyCalifornia Judge Threatens To Deport Lindsay Lohan To Siberia
LOS ANGELES - The most honorable Judge Eldenstun F. Foxhunter has sent one of the most troubled Hollywood celebrities in the history of Hollywood celebrities back to a rehab center. Lindsay Lohan, aka LiLo, aka LaLaLoon, aka LaDumbAssBitch, will b...
Read full storyForget Piercings, Tattoos: Saucered Lips The Latest Teen Craze!
The latest craze that apparently began by newly arriving refugees in New York City is beginning to take the teen world by storm and is bound to begin showing up among Hollywood stars. What is this 'latest thing'? It's saucered lips! "You start...
Read full storyFavre says, "I was tricked."
Wes Graham, a free lance photographer and contributing writer to many sports magazines, indicated recently in a conversation he was having with Hobie Grier on a highly regarded sports talk show in Pioche, Nevada, that he had proof that Brett Favre wa...
Read full storyFalse Alarm! Justin Bieber Not Dead Despite Rumors!
A spokesman for teenage singing star Justin Bieber has flatly stated to reporters who attended his early morning news conference this morning that his client, Justin Bieber had only a flare-up of the sickness that canceled a recent concert in New Yor...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera To Marry Samantha Ronson Once Her Divorce From Jordan Bratman Is Final
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Disc jockey Samantha Ronson has publicly stated that she is happier than she has ever been and that she owes it all to her brand new girlfriend Christina Aguilera. Ronson, who is the ex-'boyfriend' of the extremely troubled Lindsa...
Read full storyMan With The World's Longest Penis Looking For A Fat Bride
Joe Halfyard, the man with the world's longest penis and a member of the Navajo tribe in the Four Corners area of the United States says that he is lonely, that he has money from selling mineral rights and that he is looking for a 'fat bride' who doe...
Read full storyBale-Chimp Swap Hoax Uncovered
Tottenham are under investigation from FIFA, after it turns out they have been passing off a monkey as Welsh international Gareth Bale for a number of months. The left footed youngster is believed to have been switched for a chimpanzee during the...
Read full storyRoo guarantees to play "Sexy Football"
At an exclusive press meeting in which I gained access, Rooney, dressed in an expensive Tommy Hilfiger track suit, said he wanted to stay at Utd and play "sexy football". Some femalejornos swooned and collapsed on hearing these words. Rooney repeate...
Read full storyTaylor Momsen In Shock NY Gig Titty Flash Incident
Seventeen year old wild child and Gossip Girl starlet Taylor Momsen shocked even hardened New Yorkers recently by baring her breasts part way through a gig with her band The Pretty Reckless. Having already shocked the audience when she appeared on...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner To Host Hollywood Halloween Sex Party?
According to Skoob Entertainment News Hollywood correspondent, Brick McMuffin, the hottest ticket in town this week is for a themed Halloween party at a rented mansion in a secret location, high in the Hollywood Hills. Hosted by Twilight triumvira...
Read full storyJersey Shore Cast To Blame For Herpes Outbreak?
In recent weeks New Jersey residents have been subject to the worst Herpes outbreaks in recent history and some are saying the 'Jersey Shore' cast is to blame. New Jersey native Tony "The Dilemma" Cosentino said "Last week I found out I got that...
Read full storyOnly In America - Don King Wants To Promote Boxing Match Between Susan Boyle And Mary Byrne
Rumour has it that fight mogul Don King is on the verge of offering Susan Boyle and Mary Byrne out of the X-Factor a multi million dollar contract to fight at Madison Square Garden next June. At this stage, it isn't clear whether the electric shoc...
Read full storyWhite, Male, Heterosexual Pygmy Dwarfs More Likely To Vote Republican
The Washington based Pew Institute published a report yesterday that revealed the results of a nationwide survey of white, male, heterosexual pgymy dwarfs. In that comprehensive survey that included 2000 little men, all over the age of 18 and no tal...
Read full storyTeacher Banned For Life For Being Utterly Crap
A teacher incapable of teaching stuff has been banned from teaching for life. Simon Nobody was head of business studies at a community technology college in Hungerford, despite being unable to read, or turn on a computer. His utter crapness was di...
Read full storySarah Palin Makes Kate Gosselin the Face of Her Feminist Movement
Meet Kate Gosselin, Super Mom. The only thing missing is a strong man supporting her, but that isn't deterring Sarah Palin from naming her the 2010 Feminist of the Year. It is also not deterring Palin's strong political allies, Christine O'Donnell an...
Read full storyX-Factor Louis Walsh shits in Cheryl Cole's handbag
Let the wild rumpus begin! Too late, it already has in the X-Factory. Everybody is at everybody else's throats, apart from Cowel and Cole, who seem to be disappearing up each others behinds in an effort to out do each other in their mutual apprec...
Read full storyFrench rioters want more vacation time, better lunches while rioting
Thousands of French took to the streets in protest of the lack of vacation days provided to the rioters while protesting against the change in the retirement policies in the country. One rioter stated "I work hard rioting. I need vacation days to...
Read full storyRooney Buys Manchester United
In a deal which will revolutionise the football world Wayne Rooney has bought Manchester United. 'It is about time players took over the Clubs' he told a Press Conference 'we have the know how and I have the money.' Several other players are li...
Read full storyGovernment Give Boost for Bikes
The huge increase in Rail Fares which will come in due to the Government's Spending Review has given a boost to the Biking fraternity. 'Get on your Bike' is the cry from the deepest depths of a cavern in the Derbyshire Hills. 'If you can't find a...
Read full storyWelsh Protest over Leeks
The Welsh Assembly met in emergency session due to the activities of WillyLeeks a website giving all the information about Wales not in the Travel Guide. A Protest was made to United Nations at the sabotage of Welsh Leeks. Among the astonishing re...
Read full story3 pork eaters die as piggies seek revenge!
UK pork eaters are being warned to avoid the fatty, pumped up with hormones, meat? Three people have died in the UK and many more have fallen ill with the porky transmitted bug, hepatitis E. At first nutritional experts thought it was due to pork...
Read full storyChapter 19, The Quill Doth Cometh
#3 was taken at gun point to a dock in the cavern. "Odd," she thought to herself, "Isn't this below sea level." Mark read her thoughts, "Yes it is below sea level my dear, a special lock allows us this docking area." "But for what ?" she gestured at the water, "there's no boat." "Ahhhh, but that's where you're mistaken, it is not just a boat, but a submarine, the likes you've never see...
Read full storySuBo's third CD revealed!
Hot on the heels of Susan Boyle's impending second album, details of her third CD are starting to emerge. "We have analysed her demographic, and come to the conclusion that only very old religious women with red scarves and wealthy husbands listen...
Read full storyStuxnet claims another scalp as missing Russian sub spotted in Loch Ness
Scotland - (Hunt for Red October Mess): Hundreds of years of Scottish mythology had attributed sightings of a scary Loch prowler to a fishy local monster. This weekend a Pentagon eye-in-the-sky satellite finally nailed down the location of a miss...
Read full storyRooney loses housing benefit
Wayne Rooney was crestfallen when informed that he would be losing all of the housing benefit payable on his 4.5 million house. The poor man flew into an uncontrollable rage, booting the dog up the arse and throwing the cat out of the window without...
Read full storyResearch Shows That Chain Emails DO Work
An email survey has concluded that chain emails DO work. A survey of 75,358,502 recipients of one particular chain email has shown that the 'forwarders' of the email all received amazing stuff. The email involved in the study promises readers 25 y...
Read full storyDementors at Anfield? Whatever next?
This reporter can today exclusively reveal that Liverpool boss Woy Hodgson is in fact one of J.K. Rowling's infamous dementors of Azkaban. Suspicions were aroused when reporter Mike Gatspy travelled to see Hodgson's team of underachievers and appa...
Read full storyBook Review: Tania TTB: Behind The Wagging Tale
Having excitedly resigned myself to being the first* person to read the newly released autobiography** of our favourite WAG, Tania Tannedtobollocks, I am paid to share with you my findings. Tania TTB: Behind the Wagging Tale is an interesting and heartfelt*** read; taking the reader**** through Tania's childhood on a rundown council estate, to her adulthood as an unfulfilled, domestically repre...
Read full storyBear Shits in Woods - Tiger Furious
Tiger Woods is said to be furious, after a bear defecated into his mouth. The incident happened whilst Woods was on the 10th hole of a golf course in Colorado. It is, in fact, a common occurrence for professional golfers to be used by the wild an...
Read full storyH&R Block Sues HSBC: We Can't Overcharge Our Clients For RALs Without Their Help.
In an unprecedented move, HSBC Bank USA has decided to back out of providing funding for Refund Anticipation Loans (RAL) for the upcoming season, leaving perennial f---k-ups H&R Block with their proverbial d--ks in their hands. But my $26.50 a s...
Read full storyVikings to Favre: Nix the Picks, and the Dix Pix!
The Minnesota Vikings have made it abundantly clear to quarterback Brett Favre that they are not waiting for the NFL's ruling, telling him in a closed door meeting, "Focus more on throwing the ball to our players, and focus less on texting pictures o...
Read full storyDesean Jackson Finally Returns To Earth After Devastating Hit
Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Desean Jackson has finally returned to Earthy, six days after being clobbered by Atlanta Falcons CB Dunta Robinson during last Sunday's win over the Falcons. "As unlikely as it seems, Desean Jackson was elevated i...
Read full storyFacebook user in strife
Despite plentiful warnings from internet and security experts, Facebook users continue to post and share detailed personal information, which is available to 500 million users, seemingly without any awareness of the consequences this may have for the...
Read full storyWhatever Happened To Kirsty Alley? - Asks Local Man
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was left bewitched, buggered and bewildered in the early hours of Saturday morning, as he was relaxing with a few glasses of amber Belgian lemonade as a rainstorm raged outside the Shuttlecock residence. Shuttlecock...
Read full storyBBC 'let down' by Rooney decision
There are seismic rumblings at the BBC Television Centre, in the wake of Wayne Rooney's decision to sign a new five year contract with Manchester United. It seems that senior BBC executives were convinced that Rooney's football career was over, in...
Read full storyRepublicans Think Two Percent Is A Lot
Washington D.C.--Republicans are protesting National Public Radio's firing of Juan Williams. "Sure, he made some really bigoted comments about Muslims, and what it meant for him to fear for his life when he saw one that looked Muslim, but he only...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Checks Himself Into L.A. Clinic
Reports from those closest to actor Robert Pattinson say that the young actor is having some serious mental problems over constant nightmares about his recently discovered ancestor, Vlad the Impaler. "He's not sleeping well at all", stated one Sou...
Read full storyX-Factor - Katie And Cher Go Through Again - FiX Allegations Denied
Skoob Entertainment News can exclusively reveal that X-Factor wannabes Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel will both make it safely through this weekend's elimination round. Even though neither were particularly good. Sources told our reporter to put...
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