Chapter 19, The Quill Doth Cometh

Funny story written by Jean Le Fete

Saturday, 23 October 2010

image for Chapter 19, The Quill Doth Cometh
Beware "The Quill"!

#3 was taken at gun point to a dock in the cavern.
"Odd," she thought to herself, "Isn't this below sea level."

Mark read her thoughts, "Yes it is below sea level my dear, a special lock allows us this docking area."

"But for what ?" she gestured at the water, "there's no boat."

"Ahhhh, but that's where you're mistaken, it is not just a boat, but a submarine, the likes you've never seen before!" said Mark extravagantly gesturing at the water.

Just then bubbles rose to the surface in ever increasing volume until something so incredible emerged, the likes #3 had never seen before.

The tip of the sub surfaced, a pointed white tip , then followed by a long white bone to a yellow body shaped exactly like a feather. Then it all became clear to her it was shaped like a giant quill pen!

A gang plank was lowered to it and the top hatch opened and EQ stuck out his head.

"All aboard!" called EQ, "Why Carina, what a lovely surprise lass, too bad the circumstances aren't better for you. Still it will be a pleasure for you to spend time with me."

"Cork it EQ, you'll be the first to die when I have a weapon in my hands," said #3 with certainty.

"Not likely to happen missy, " said Mark pushing her down the gang plank, "Let's get moving, we have more Spoofers to catch."

Meanwhile on the raft, progress was slow. The skull and crossbones wasn't much of a sail for a flag and not much of a flag for that matter, tattered with more holes than fabric. The provisions, such as they were, had nearly gone.

"I think I'm feeling better" said Skoob, "I've only coveted Charpa's fishnet stockings once in the past hour."

"Its' only been bloody 5 minutes!!" snapped CJ.

"Quiet you lot! Look up ahead, it's a ship! Fully rigged! Were going to take her," said Jean.

"He's right," said J.O., "We need a real ship, but we need a plan first though."

"I have a plan," said Charpa, "All of you need to get off."

"That's a bit of a personal matter isinit?" asked Birbee.

"I mean off of the raft! Not….that!" said Charpa officially embarrassed, "I want the boat to think I'm on the raft alone saavy? Just leave me alone with sword hidden in my skirt."

"Been watching Pirates of the Carribean again she has," said Skoob to J.O., "I like her like this."

"Now wait a second," said Jean, "you don't mean to take on that whole ship by yourself do you?"

"Yes I do," replied Charpa, "Element of surprise I'll take them before they know what's hit them."

"Oh okay, well long as you're okay with that," said Jean, "c'mon lads, do as the lady says. Into the water now. I think I understand what she has in mind."

With that the remaining male spoofers slipped into the water around the raft, hiding along the edges.

Meanwhile, in the depths below and beyond their hearing was the ping of sonar on the world's oddest submarine. The body of the S.S. Quill slithered and undulated through the ocean like… a feather.

"Periscope!" yelled Mark, "Prepare to release the orb!"

"No!" shouted Carina, "It drowns people when over water, you know that!"

Mark stopped and smiled thoughtfully, "You have a point," said Mark, "very well then, I have a better idea. I'll wait until we are close enough, then I'll let you push the button to fire a very special new weapon at them!"

"I won't do it," said Carina looking down at her bound hands. Just then she saw something on the floor that gave her a glimmer of hope.

"Don't be silly my dear," retorted Mark, "You know you're in no position to argue." Mark looked through the periscope. Somewhere in the sub the Beetles, "Yellow Submarine", began to play over the speakers.

"Ahaa! " exclaimed Mark, "I see their pathetic little raft and….I saaay, what's that British Navy frigate doing there? And where the hell are the spoofers? Oh I SAAAY, I didn't know Charpa looked so good in fishnet stockings….I SAAAAY!"

"Oh PLEASE shut-up!" said Carina irritably pressing her bound hands to her forehead.

'…and the band begins to play….'

"Point the tip up now," cried Mark, "Prepare to fire the..INK!"…………………..

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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