Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 23 October 2010

image for White, Male, Heterosexual Pygmy Dwarfs More Likely To Vote Republican
Small Things

The Washington based Pew Institute published a report yesterday that revealed the results of a nationwide survey of white, male, heterosexual pgymy dwarfs. In that comprehensive survey that included 2000 little men, all over the age of 18 and no taller than 36 inches in their bare feet, 68% said that they would "more likely vote for a Republican candidate if they were furmished a stool to stand on at the polling place."

While saying that they admired President Obama because he reminded them of their own physical disportions, pointing out that Obama's head had dwarflike characteristics in the temporal regions, they said that the Obamacare health bill mandated that they pay as much for insurance as males six feet and over. This they said was "akin to paying the same money for a compact car as for a luxury sedan."

The other 32% of those surveyed said that their views were "usually obstructed by big-assed women," and that they would vote for anyone who promised "to move these heifers out of the way so that they could enjoy such mundane things as the setting sun without having to squeeze between those humungous thighs."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Republicans, Voting




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