Republicans Think Two Percent Is A Lot

Funny story written by UWGB-Beek

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Washington D.C.--Republicans are protesting National Public Radio's firing of Juan Williams.

"Sure, he made some really bigoted comments about Muslims, and what it meant for him to fear for his life when he saw one that looked Muslim, but he only said what us Republicans have been saying for year," Jim DeMint said.

The Republican party has tried for years legalize racial profiling as a way to improve the protection of rich white people that should already be toting guns, but might not be because of improved airport security that doesn't allow them to fly with their guns on their persons.

"I think it is important that the federal government stop giving money to NPR because of how they limit free speech. It is clearly a liberal organization that needs to start acting like Fox News." Sarah Palin said on Fox News.

"I think we can't take NPR off the air if we can get the government to stop giving them handouts. We don't need radio stations that only give the facts. We need opinions, not facts," Palin added.

The sad fact is that NPR only gets about two percent of their money from the federal government. A two percent decrease just means that they will have to get more funding from people that enjoy the news offer the expression of hate speech in American.

"I think it goes to show you how much Republicans don't know what they are protesting. I know they need to commit to cutting taxes to make it sound like they really care about the American public." James Carville said to reporters. "I guess when Republicans think one percent should get all the breaks, maybe two percent seems like a crippling percentage."

The issue comes just in time for the midterm elections, because up to this point Republicans haven't had much to take attention away from their lack of a plan for the United States.

"It would be nice to see Republicans want to get our troops home safely, improve our educational system and improve health care in the United States, but they are worried about a company firing a man that knew the rules but didn't follow them." Senator Schumer said in an interview on Larry King Live.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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