Written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 23 October 2010

image for Cheryl Cole Stars In Tears For Piers
CCTV Footage Taken Just Before Buffty Entered The Pub.

'Everybody Wants To Rule The World' sang Tears For Fears, an awfully long time ago. As far as Cheryl Cole is concerned, she does rule the world, as demonstrated in her tears for Piers on tonight's Piers Morgan interview.

Poor lamb.

She's had a terrible year. What with Ashley texting explicit pictures of his meat and two veg to various hairdressers, and her near death experience with malaria, and that's even without a mention of having to mentor Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel on the X-Factor.

Or her mysterious relationship with Dancing Derek Hough.

Or the Tussauds waxwork image, or the new tattoo of a lion apparently disappearing up her arse. And the red hair. And the big fall out with Nadine Coyle.

She's had a bloody hard time of it lately and no mistake. Small wonder that she gets all emotional and breaks down during the course of the Piers Morgan TV interview - anybody would.

Skoob Entertainment News supremo Buffty Ginslinger had this to say on the subject, once he'd woken up on the floor of the Stockwell squat where we tracked him down to:

"It's a bloody tough life being a celeb. The expectation is massive, and you're constantly under the spotlight. I really feel for Chezza.

" It's just a shame that the people who put in ten times the work, drag their weary bones off on a daily basis to work at low paid jobs for ungrateful bosses, suffer all manner of trauma, physical and mental - it's just a pity that those ingrates don't appreciate how difficult it is to live a life enslaved to a permanent sun tan, and having to look bloody drop dead gorgeous all the time.

"Especially when you're only 5'3" tall and sing like a screech owl on methamphetamine.

"People need to take Cheryl to their hearts, and begin to understand how hard this toilet attendant thumping Geordie rose works. She's such a darling...did you bring me some money? You better have. The pub opens in ten minutes and the wallet is bare..."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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