Written by matthatt

Saturday, 23 October 2010

image for X-Factor Louis Walsh shits in Cheryl Cole's handbag
Give us a kiss love

Let the wild rumpus begin! Too late, it already has in the X-Factory.

Everybody is at everybody else's throats, apart from Cowel and Cole, who seem to be disappearing up each others behinds in an effort to out do each other in their mutual appreciation society.

All the contestants are up in arms about their songs, and Louis Walsh is having panic attacks over his pet singer having changed her song and on top of that he is pissed off with Cheryl's friendship with Simon and because he's at the end of the row in the corner.

The rivalry between the Geordie and the Irish man has reached such bitter depths that all out war is expected between the two at any moment, especially since the pranking started.

Walsh was so mad at Cowels apparent favouritism towards Cole that he has taken to all manner of Machiavellian methods to undermine the pop moppet, like putting cling film over her dressing room toilet bowl, hilarious. Cole came back at him with weeing in his bottled water, genius!

The gloves are off now and so is Walsh's pants, as he has dropped trow and laid a cable in the unsuspecting singers Louis Vuitton.

'She is well known for her love of handbags and she never goes anywhere without them'
said the √Čire-rate judge 'When she is sitting behind that desk, every time the camera looks away she checks her self in a vanity mirror and sometime reapplies her make up. I am so hoping she does that live on air. The new brand of lippy I left in her bag should match her fake tan nicely'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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