Pensioner has her back door smashed in
An elderly woman from Margate was recovering today after her back door was smashed in by a rampaging Rottweiler dog. The pensioner was bending over to feed her cat when all of a sudden she felt a furry presence between her legs - as the cat fl...
Read full storyParis Goes Beyond Snooki, LiLo Doing 'Public Service' In Mini Bikini!
While Snooki did her first round of 'Community Service' getting into enough trouble to cause her to be arrested again, LiLo hid secret messages on her nails, etc, Paris Hilton has been picking up trash at a city park wearing very little. Apparentl...
Read full storyJesus Christ was a fag and a communist
Was Jesus Christ a gay bitch with a loose ass? Was he really a communist? The answer to those questions and others are clear to see in the bible. All the evidence in the bible points to the fact that Jesus was gay. He didn't hang out with women, but instead bedded down every night with 12 male apostles. He wore a robe and had long hair which means he liked dressing in drag. He tells a prostitu...
Read full story50,000 Protest Irish Bail Out.
I have never professed to being a fan of politics and politicians but this story from Ireland has really got me thinking. Two topics I was brought up to avoid, in conversations, were politics and religion. Now I understand why. The Vatican City is purported to be the richest city in the world. Christian people, albeit Catholics, reside there. Many Catholics reside in Ireland so why does...
Read full storyBritish Officer "HRH" Torture Leak Rebuke
Whitehall and the Government are in shock tonight after a leaked recording alleged to be of a British RAF Officer - identified only as "HRH" - torturing an Afghan civilian was released by Welsh whistle-blowing website Wikileeks. It has sparked demands for a forces-wide review, and for the officer in question to be sharply rebuked. The true horror of the acts can only be appreciated in transc...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Turns 18, Does Centerfold Spread In Major Magazine
Finally Miley Cyrus has turned eighteen and is not a little girl anymore. Of course, those like Liam Helmsworth already knew that she had been acting a lot older for some time now. To celebrate she has had a whole week of small parties and large o...
Read full storyEarplug sales soar as Waissel wails
Shops all over the UK have reported a sudden surge in the sales of earplugs as Katie "Wastrel" Waissel's wailing made Wagner sound like Pavarotti on the latest edition of the x-factor. After a shocking first song, Wastrel then proceeded to compl...
Read full storyLocal man in war of attrition over toilet roll with flatmate.
A local man has been left reeling and shell shocked following an all out attempt by his flat mate to not change the toilet roll in the shared bathroom of their house this evening. The trouble all began earlier today when the unnamed house sharer,...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Busts President in the Lip
The official story line is, The President likes to play hard ball when he works out on the court. Barack Obama was playing aggressive basketball and he took a stray elbow to the mouth. Obama was rushed to the doctor where he recieved 12 stitches for...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Is Told That Rush Limbaugh Started The Gay Rumor About Him And Zac Efron
QUEENS, New York - Robert Pattinson was in town visiting an old high school friend Luigi "Knuckles" Scalatori when he was approached by a reporter for the local magazine publication Hey What It Is Yo? Pattinson was asked if he had heard about the...
Read full storyParis Hilton's Vagina Apologies
Recently Paris Hilton's Vagina went on a rampage, tearing up the town and making a total spectacle of it's self. It all started when Paris's Vagina discovered Paris was not up for the role of Linda Lovelace in the bio pic, Inferno. Paris's ker...
Read full storyGangsters plan to industrilize and go corporate
Juarez, Mexico- Drug dealers have opted for a cheaper and more efficient way to make money. After the bust of a sophisticated drug tunnel that ran from Mexico to San Diego, drug traffickers have decided that it's cheaper to grow marijuana on the...
Read full storyAshley Greene To Star In The New Vampire Movie, "Lady Labia - The Scourgess of The Carpathian Mountains"
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Ashley Greene was vacationing down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with her personal hair stylist FuFi Fondue. Greene who portrays Alice Cullen in the extraordinary Twilight Saga series told a reporter for The Cabo San Lucas Mor...
Read full storyAl Qaeda operatives hijack model airplane
Security officials in the United States and abroad are scrambling this afternoon to thwart a potentially devastating terrorist attack and to quickly develop an effective strategy for dealing with what appears to be a new direction being taken by al...
Read full storyReligion Takes a Nose Dive
Religious leaders were praying extra hard to be forgiven for being in the same company as Tony Blair. It was Blair who defended a proposal that 'religion is a force for good in the world'. He lost the vote 2 to 1 against atheist Christopher Hitchens.
Read full storySelena Gomez Is Absolutely Furious At Madonna's Verbal Attack On Demi Lovato
NEW YORK CITY - Selena Gomez performed a concert before a sell out crowd at Yankee Stadium. The concession stand director stated that they had never ever sold the amount of popcorn, Crackerjacks, and hot dogs that they sold during the two-hour concer...
Read full storyGrandpa Ganja's Emporium (The Seminar) #4
FADE IN: EXT. DAY. 9:45 am. GG arrives for an early seminar for new patients. He carries a cardboard box under his arm and enters the Club. INT. BETH is putting fresh coffee out with a box of regular cookies. BETH You're late. I thought you forgot today's seminar. GG Grandpa Ganja never forgets. I just had to go back for my demos. BETH Because you forgot th...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Donates $20,000 To Mel Gibson's Ex-Future Wife Oksana Grigorieva
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber was in Tinsel Town visiting the extremely attractive president of the Justin Bieber California Fan Club Brendy Lolly Kissipush, 31. Bieber wanted to personally thank Mrs. Kissipush for helping to make his fan club the b...
Read full storyMcDonalds: The Cadmium Is For Extra Flavor!
Arc International, the company that brought us Pyrex, Mikasa, and McDonalds glasses chock-full of lethal cadmium, is backing away from the affirmative defense they've proffered in a lawsuit stemming from the 'Shrek Forever After' glasses fiasco. "...
Read full storyEmma Watson and the return of the pixie crop circles.
Hairstylists the world over are attempting to recreate the crop circle/pixie cut combo but are unable to reproduce an authentic look, like the real deal. Emma Watson, who first came to media attention with long flowing locks recently switched to a...
Read full storyThe Queen Shows Her Knowledge Of Horse Paintings
The Queen was in Saudi Arabia today, where she met the King of Arabia who showed her his vast collection of paintings of horses. The Queen impressed all observers greatly by showing how much she knows about horsey art. She exclaimed her delight up...
Read full storyTony Robinson promotes Archaeology Relief
A charity event was announced today by Tony Robinson to raise money for archaeology in the UK. He explained, "For many years we have had Comic Relief, which raises money through comedy. Then we had Sport Relief, which raised money through various spo...
Read full storyAn Introduction to Scottish Cuisine
Scottish food is not universally known for its quality or even its health benefits, but one entrepreneuring young chef has decided that there is a gap in the market for a Scottish restaurant in London. Hamish McSporran, originally from Auchtermuchty, opened his restaurant "Le Jock" last month and has received rave reviews. He spoke exclusively to TheSpoof.com. "It's all aboot cheapness," he...
Read full storyStay Indoors! Police Warning As Snow Falls!
Police have urged people throughout the entire of freezing Britain to stay indoors amid warnings of heavy snow and plunging temperatures. Meteorologists have warned of meteor sized snow falls that would crush a person flat, should they be unlucky...
Read full storyWINTER!
Winter's had enough of itself; it wants to do something else... nothing drastic or abnormal like be a businessman or an elf it wants to have a crack ... at being something new like spring or autumn, that would be cool and cool is one thing it can do. It's not very sure if summertime is something that he could pull off... and anyway he would only miss the fireworks as well...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof Sequel: Chapter 9 Dark Ages
When Mark finally came to he was in a white room on a ornate white poster bed. Bright sun shone through huge gothic castle windows and glinted off of the padlock that held his ropes taught. A light fog hung just off of the floor, making the whole thing seem very dream like to him. The ceiling was easily 60 feet tall, with paintings of angels. "Your awake," said a soft gentle voice, but he could...
Read full storyAstronomer catches S.E.X. on tape!
In what may be called an 'arousing' revelation of a dark secret of the deep space, an astronomer has caught S.E.X. on tape. S.E.X., which stands for Sudden Emission of X-rays had been an hot issue for a very long time. The existence of cosmic SEX...
Read full storyNew WikiLeaks Reveal Lady Camilla Has Some Horse DNA
Those revealing WikiLeaks are about to be released once again and this time there is eight times the secret information as the first time. For instance, an insider who has seen some of them ahead of time, says they show that Tony Blair has a huge...
Read full storySony, Palin, Tea Party, Cameron, Gordon Brown, Republicans, Murdoch, Apple, to Sue Spoofer in Libel
(written by Inhopeless's friend, James Smith) BIRMINGHAM - A coalition of several companies, people, and political parties will sue spoofer Inhopeless for defamation. Inhopeless, whose name has been disguised to protect his identity, and also b...
Read full storyMarijuana, Miley Cyrus now Legal for Recreational Use
SACRAMENTO, California - Governor-elect Jerry Brown chose the occasion of Miley Cyrus' 18th birthday to declare that both Miley and marijuana are now legal for the recreational pleasure of the state's population at large. Five years ago, use of ei...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Council Leader Fond of Ribbon Cutting
We caught up with Isle of Wight Council Leader David Pugh at the ground breaking of the new Cowes secondary school where he spoke candidly about how much he enjoys ribbon cutting. "It's a real pleasure to be part of any improvements here on the Is...
Read full storyMichael Brea Beheads Demonic Mother and HE Gets Charged
2010 has not been the greatest year ever for Haiti. The year got off to a rousing start on January 12, 2010 when AIDS ravaged Haiti was devastated by an earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale followed by 52 aftershocks, resulting in 500,000 ca...
Read full storyEvil Madman Tries to Take Over New York City... Oh Lord, Not Again
NEW YORK - The UN was shocked and exasperated today as yet again another evil villian decided to take over the world by impossible means. Our reporter who was at the United Nations HQ in New York at the time recorded this transcribed audio message...
Read full storyPalin on Video Gung Ho to ATTACK RUSSIA and No New START Treaty!
Being the President of the United States of America is a job. Two years ago Charles Gibson of ABC gave Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin a job interview. It was like a job interview of Sarah Palin and a chess game, to see how well Sarah Palin t...
Read full storyMad cows stampede through feed store on Black Friday
WISCONSIN-- Employees at the BarnMart in Milwaukee braced themselves Friday morning for the yearly onslaught of cattle looking for the best deals on feed. A herd of heifers, bulls, and calves were lined up around the block in the wee hours waiting f...
Read full storyGillian Faints Yet Again
Gillian Mckieth fainted for the a millionth time last night after seeing a massive spider. The Spider happened to be Stacey trying to impress the campmates with a spider impression. Gillian then lost the baby she was "pregnant" with when she's...
Read full storyLimbaugh: "I Was Just Kidding for God's Sake!"
Rush Limbaugh called a press conference yesterday to counter a ground swell of public opinion that erupted after his negative remarks about Native Americans. Limbaugh, who could not care less, felt threatened by a possible boycott of his advertisers...
Read full storyBritish Relations With Germany Under Strain Due To Erroneous Emoticon :-s
Having pissed off the majority of the UK, Prime Minister David Cameron has now taken to annoying people on the continent. His actions have now caused political relations between Great Britain and Germany to plummet to new lows after a seemingly erro...
Read full storyPolice Chief Concludes Negotiations with Fake Student Leader
Constable Paul Stephenson, recently demoted from his his position a the Met Police Chief, had concluded a pact with a fake student leader so that demonstrations against student fees would not get out of hand. If was revealed today by Wikileaks, de...
Read full storyDementia was the least of Thatcher's problems new movie alleges
London - (Sordid Stuff): "It's enough to frighten the whorses, alright," is how a British Film Council spokesman described it today. The film starring some old ego-inflated ratbag depicts Mrs Thatcher as the brain-dead moron wife of a KGB gangste...
Read full storyMan on Street: Failed Oregon Bombing
A teenager has been arrested in the US state of Oregon after allegedly plotting to carry out a car bomb attack at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony, potentially killing over 500 people. However, FBI had intercepted the bomb and stopped the attack. What do you think? Mike Thornes - Mobile (Burger-flipper) - "See! It's them moosulems. They want to attack of freedoms! All of them moosulems! I...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Hits Puberty
NEW YORK - At the final stop on his tour of the North American continent, Bieber punched annoying guy, Rod Puberty. On-stage dancer at the gig in Central Park said this: "This annoying guy who didn't even like Beiber, he kept following us everywhe...
Read full storyFallout from Bush Administration: What's to be done with all the Nukular waste?
If you think a two headed horned toad is scary you oughta spend more time thinking about the Bush Administration dumping all the high-potency nu-cu-lar waste in America in an abandoned warehouse near San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf. If you're a typical Cracker, Bible-Thumper or learned a new salute up at Sand Point, you're probably sayin' Good. Let those Hippie bastards stir-fry their tempeh...
Read full storyThis Medication May Have Some Side Effects
You may experience some side effects when taking this medication. You may experience memory lapses to varying degrees. You may forget to take your daily dose. (If you do, simply return to the daily schedule. Do not take two doses together.) You may forget where you have placed your bottle of medication. (We suggest leaving the bottle on your night stand or otherwise out in the open. You...
Read full storyX Factor Wagner And I'm A Celeb Gillian... Love In The Air?
Not only does she have to cope with the challenges of the jungle, Gillian McKeith also has to fend of the attentions of an unwanted suitor. Sources from the I'm A Celebrity jungle say that the TV nutrition expert has been receiving texts of a "spi...
Read full storyInflammatory Ohio State President: "Watching Nevada vs. Boise State like watching two Ohio high school football teams play the game"
(Columbus, Ohio) - From the safety of a portable toilet in the recently renovated E. Gordon Gee Lavatory Complex, the President of The Ohio State University called the game between Boise State and Nevada "basically like watching two really good Ohio...
Read full story"MY 'Chinese Comedy Central's Kim Jong-il Roast Called Off Due to Tensions on Korean Peninsula' STORY NOT GETTING EXPOSURE IN CHINA OR N. KOREA LIKE I HAD HOPED" says disillusioned TheSpoof.com writer
(Northern California) - Irregular TheSpoof.com contributor, SpaceWanker, recently was overheard wondering aloud while fully-clothed in the shower: "I can't figure it out. Was something lost in translation? It's strange because I really thought I...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler Both Deny A Lesbian Romp In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Jennifer Aniston, who does not really ever seem to have a problem getting a guy, but who can't seem to keep one worth a damn was photographed vacationing down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with Chelsea Handler a stand up comedian...
Read full storyNicki Minaj's Gigantic Booty Makes J-Lo's, Beyonce's, and The Kardashian Trio's Tushes Look Flatter Than Kansas!
BROOKLYN - Hip hop rap artist Nicki Minaj performed at The Rumpelstiltskin Ballroom in Brooklyn before a standing room only crowd. The 25-year-old Trinidadian captivated the crowd not only with her singing but with her tremendously over sized butt...
Read full storyDallas-Fort Worth International Airport TSA Inspector Says He Has 'Patted Down' A Total of 17 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
DALLAS - Transportation Security Administration Inspector Agent Rhett Leland Mashflicker, 43, proudly boasted to fellow TSA pat down inspectors Rufus Socketshank, 29, and Gwyneth Muddyheimer, 24, that he holds The Dallas-Fort Worth International Airp...
Read full storyAmsterdam Names tiny Guerneville CA Sister City!
In a surprise move that was totally unexpected by the Chamber of Commerce as well as most of its citizens, tiny Guerneville, CA (pop.1,003) was named last week as Amsterdam's (The Netherlands) Sister-City. The prestigious 'appointment' elevates G...
Read full storyJoan Rivers busted for mask violation!
Irrepressible comedienne Joan Rivers was arrested in New York's Greenwich Village yesterday after being charged with wearing a mask in public, which is still a misdemeanor offense although post 9/11 lawmakers are trying to change the infraction to a...
Read full storyIs this a Cover Up?
It was reported today by the press that President Barack Obama was "accidentally" hit in the mouth during a basketball game with family and friends at Fort McNair, a military post in Washington. The ten person game was witnessed by several spectat...
Read full storySaudi Arabia has an innovative way to keep law and order
AL-AWWAMIYA, Saudi Arabia - A teenage girl was attacked by a stray camel and after reporting the incident to the police she was arrested and punished by a judge --- she was sentenced to over 90 lashes while the camel was chased off to chew cud in th...
Read full storyIce Fishing in Key West
Two Graton men are recovering from frostbite after the shack in which they were ice fishing fell through the ice of Otter Tail Lake in Minnesota last week. Enjoying the warmest March in 90 years of record-keeping hasn't kept the population of Fe...
Read full storyQueen tells Paparazzi to Iris Down
The Queen, in a bit of a huff, told the paparazzi to back off Prince (Big Willie) William, and Kate (Babykins) Middleton. While having the paparazzi follow you around is just a side effect of being a Royal, the recent behavior of the photogs has been...
Read full storyCambodian Death Toll Blamed on Bridge Toll Prank
More than two day after hundreds of people were crushed to death in a huge tightly packed crowd on the last night of a Cambodian Water festival near the town of Lottapoor, the real reasons are beginning to surface. A prank conjured by two teenage...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Forced To Eat Tofurky With Father, Samantha Ronson as Punishment.
Lindsay Lohan was forced to spend at least part of her Thanksgiving with father Michael Lohan and former boyfriend Sam Ronson as punishment by the Betty Ford Clinic. That was the joke?? An eating Samantha Ronson joke?? "And the Tofurky was terri...
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