Shops all over the UK have reported a sudden surge in the sales of earplugs as Katie "Wastrel" Waissel's wailing made Wagner sound like Pavarotti on the latest edition of the x-factor.
After a shocking first song, Wastrel then proceeded to completely butcher the REM classic "Everybody hurts", a statement certainly true of anyone listening to the farcical effort of the veteran of the perennial sing off fix.
One critic was heard to say that they would rather watch an octogenarian prostitute in a porn movie than Wastrel singing, but such nepotism is not permitted to the contestants so Katie will have to go it alone until she is finally booted into the wilderness.
