Scottish food is not universally known for its quality or even its health benefits, but one entrepreneuring young chef has decided that there is a gap in the market for a Scottish restaurant in London.
Hamish McSporran, originally from Auchtermuchty, opened his restaurant "Le Jock" last month and has received rave reviews. He spoke exclusively to TheSpoof.com.
"It's all aboot cheapness," he explained. "We're in the middle of a recession so people are looking for tasty cheap food. And we give it to them."
"Ever since Robert Burns invented the deep fat frier in 1782, us Scots have been eating ourselves to death. And without spending much money!"
"Oor menu contains such standard favourites as deep fried chips, chip butties, porridge milk and haggis pate. Basically any dead animal or piece of crap we can find, we deep fry it and serve it up - just like we do back in Scotland."
"Our staff also subscribe to our philosophy of cheapness. They're all homeless Scottish tramps that we found on the streets of London and they look like it too. Don't expect a cheery service. Also they count yer change carefully in front of you when ye pay."
"Any leftovers are put back into the pot for the next customer. It's applying the principles of recycling to top quality restaurant food."
But top food critics have not been put off. Tastefully decorated with tartan wallpaper and carpets, it has an ironically kitsch charm.
"Ah got that wallpaper cos it was cheap!" said McSporran. "Ah scraped it off the walls in mah gran's flat."
It is the only place in England to sell individual chips at 2p each. And their gourmet meals sell for only £5 - these include sauteed sporran, porridge tartare, and the "American tourist Braveheart special" which consists of a deep fried DVD in porridge.
"Le Jock" is currently taking reservations.
