It is all science's fault! It seems so easy, such a nice scapegoat for all the problems in the world. If we just go back to how things were before science, things would be so much better, sure life spans would decrease dramatically, but things would still be better.
Ever since Mary Shelley gave us the infamous story of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster, we all naturally fear those strange people who tinker with nature and test tubes. What could those scientists possibly be doing that could actually help people?
I guess maybe medical science should be allowed, since I do like pain medication. And since we all use antibacterial soap, we will need Microbiologists to develop new antibiotics since we have almost worn out the old ones.
Geologists, who needs Geologists? Oh wait, earthquakes and tsunamis might be forecast and could save lives. OK, how about Entomologists, those freaks who actually study bugs. Who needs them? We all hate bugs right? Well, that butterfly outside is kind-of pretty and I heard somewhere that bugs help the soil, and we sort-of need food that is grown in soil.
Here's one to fear: EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGISTS! They had the gall to actually try to disprove the bible. I think we can all agree that they should go. Wait a minute, isn't it in the bible that "God said that 1000 years is like one day to him and one day is like 1000 years." Does that mean that God could of created life through evolution? Whoa, I think I need to back off of this one. Maybe it's ok, if Evolutionary Biologists can help cure cancer along with those Genetics weirdos and Microbiologists.
Wow, science is everywhere, this is harder than I thought.
Hey wait, I have thought of one: Food Additives scientists. They just add stuff like crack and junk to food that makes us crave KFC nightly. So they should go, but I guess the rest can stay in the pool.
