Acting on an anonymous tip, the Dutch Secret Police raided the Carmelite Convent of Saint Amelie with the expectation of rescuing Rameses Trojani. The billionaire creator of the Benedict XVI Condoms has been missing for over a day and foul play is suspected largely, in part due to Trojani's sacriligeous 'rubbers'. The incursion, however, was unsuccessful. Monsieur Trojani was nowhere to be found.
Nevertheless, Inspector Henri Rochard, while disappointed that Trojani was unable to be located, was satisfied that the mission concluded relatively safely. "Only the Mother Superior was 'tased' and the medics believe she'll back scaring little boys and girls like in the old days. In the meantime," he continued, "We've put the Carmelite order on notice that we will not tolerate lawbreakers whether in a habit or out of it."
Rumors have persisted for years that the Carmelite Order of Saint Amelie was a den of reactionary Roman Catholic religious who engaged in revenge, retribution, and random acts of violence - all for the greater honor and glory of God. Therefore, it wasn't a complete surprise when the tip came in and implicated them in the kidnapping.
When asked if there was any evidence that may be tied to Trojani's disappearance, Rochard said, "Oh, yes...a severed nose. We checked....all the nuns have theirs and so we'll send it for DNA testing to see if it's Trojani's."
