Chinese organised crime in Bulgarian cellphone numerology shocker!

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

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Hello? Your number's up!

Sofia, Bulgaria - (Spooky Mess): Bulgarian telecom giant (sic) Mob-I-Tell has suspended a 'cherished' cellphone number following complaints that every owner/user in the last decade has died in horrible circumstances.

The much prized 0888 888 888 designation was fought over by wannabe owner/users following widespread publicity that the number eight is supremely lucky in Chinese superstition lore.

Drug-dealing Triad gangs in Shanghai, Beijing, Taipei and Macao may have cottoned on to the number's unique attraction according to a CIA report published this week.

This says the Triads have traditionally used Bulgaria's capital Sofia as a major gateway to lucrative EU trade.

The report also speculates that the assignment of the unique digits may have been masterminded by Chinese Al Qaeda affiliates, keen for a slice of telecoms-related action.

The number was initially assigned to Mob-I-Tell CEO Vladimir Grashnov whose 2001 cancer death was not considered suspicious until a raft of claims that he'd been poisoned by a dose of Plutonium-210.

Its subsequent re-assignment to Sofia-based mafia boss Konstantin Dimitrov two years later saw the mobster gunned down during a foreign drug buying trip to Amsterdam.

And cocaine boss Konstantin Dishliev who inherited the phone number two years later suffered a similar assassination.

The number has since been mothballed despite widespread claims it has been offered as a business number to the Dalai Llama.

An update is expected later this week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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