5 Annoying Things that DOGS do on Facebook

Funny story written by Alibanger Wanger

Wednesday, 10 March 2010


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This story is in retaliation to Askmen.com's article titled 'Crazy Things Women Do On Facebook' and Cosmo online's retaliation article titled '5 Annoying Things Guys Do on Facebook.' This is in retaliation to both those dumb articles.

5 Annoying Things Dogs Do on Facebook

1. Dogs get their own profiles. Really? Does a dog deserve his/her own Facebook profile, or even a Facebook fan page?

2. Dogs put their own photo as up as their owner's profile picture. That is very misleading!

3. Dogs receive WAY more compliments in the photo comment section than most people get! It's true. You put a beautiful photo of yourself up and you expect to get a ton of comments. Kind of a downer when the next photo over of YOUR DOG with his leg in the air gets more comments than your photo gets. Kind of defeats the purpose of putting photos up.

4. Dogs act like they don't even care how great hey are. Dogs give off a false modesty. They know they're getting attention and they act like they care more about that ball over there than they do about all the human admiration.

5. Dogs never get tagged in embarrassing photos. When Bogart was drunk at the Lake, did the photos end up on Facebook? No. When Edgar pooped on the grass did that turd end up in the newsfeed? Nope. When Lindsay was in heat over the weekend at the deck party, did everyone just forget? What the hell? Own up, dogs. We all have to suffer through embarrassing tags, you should too.

Too many dogs behave this way on Facebook. How can they expect to be taken seriously or garner respect in the canine world if they're acting like puppies? Dogs, we suggest you treat Facebook like you would a resume or a post-secondary school application -- the world is not just a big dog park for you to run around free and unleashed in.

*This entire article can be substituted for babies and small kids.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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