Black Dolls Sell For Less Than White Dolls In Louisiana

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

image for Black Dolls Sell For Less Than White Dolls In Louisiana
The Market located in downtown Monroe, Louisiana.

MONROE, Louisiana - Shoppers at a local store have expressed surprise, outrage, and segregated anger at the fact that black dolls are selling for $3, whereas white dolls are selling for $5.93.

Long time shopper, Vynetta May Portington, who is an 87-year-old retired upstairs maid, said that she has never in her life seen such a blatant example of prejudicial discrimination and discriminatory prejudice.

Mrs. Portington pointed out that when her little nine-year-old great granddaughter Beyonce Rihanna saw the two dolls she immediately asked her if she could have the black since it was a lot cheaper than the white .

Portington said that she pointed out to her great granddaughter than the black doll was not cheaper than the white .

Beyonce Rihanna replied, "Hey gramster, da black dolly she be sellin' fo tree dallas and da white honkie doll she be sellin' fo fi dallas and ninety-tree senses, so da colored bitch she sho nuff be a-sellin' fo a cheaper price dan da redneck bitch be a-sellin fo."

Vynetta said she turned to her great granddaughter and said, "Honey child, why you's be a talkin' likes dat. Hasn't I been a teachin' ya not ta be a talkin' likes ya just got off da damn freakin' boat from Kamgooganda."

"Well gramster, I tink dat I talks kinda sorta like da ways dat ju do be's a-talkin', ju know what I be's a-sayin'?"

Portington yelled back, "No ma'am, no way's, no how's, ya duzzunt even remote controlled talks anywheres near as damn good as I be doin' and dats what I be's a-talkin' about."

Portington asked to see the manager so that she could complain about the difference in price between the black Doll and the white doll. She was told that the manager was busy on the phone talking to Rev. Al Sharpton.

SIDENOTE: Store manager Harrington Bipplebridge issued the following statement: I'm afraid that I just don't know about some of our African-American customers such as one Vynetta May Portington. The woman complained because the black Dolls in my store were marked down 50% less than the white Dolls. Now I ask you this. Can you imagine the hell, please just try to imagine the hell, I would have caught from the black community if I had priced the white Dolls at $3 and the black dolls at $5.93. Are you kiddin' me. Sharpton, Jackson, Shaquille O'Neal, Oprah, and President Obama himself would have come down to my store so fast I would have thought it was another damn "White House Beer Summit."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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