American Idol's Ellen DeGeneres Sits On Simon Cowell's Lap and Nibbles on His Ear

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

image for American Idol's Ellen DeGeneres Sits On Simon Cowell's Lap and Nibbles on His Ear
This is a baby photo of Simon Cowell who was born four months premature.

HOLLYWOOD - Well after weeks of watching fellow American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi cuddling, nuzzling, and caressing Simon Cowell, Ellen DeGeneres appeared at the show's opening snuggled next to Cowell and kissing the self-proclaimed Royal Rude Dude on his right ear and on the right side of his neck.

Ellen would have no doubt left a hickey on the Britisher's neck had AI host Ryan Seacrest not stepped in and physically separated the two.

As Ryan and "The Black Dawg" (Randy) physically dragged DeGeneres back to her assigned judge's seat between Jackson, who is no relation to the 'Gloved One' aka Michael Jackson, and "Hormone Kara" DioGuardi, Ellen gave Kara a high-five and remarked, "Hey KaDio that Cowell is one hell of a freakin stud."

DioGuardi grinned and replied, "You're telling me...and lissen up ya little blonde bitch you better not ever try that again, cause if you do this jealous cougar will have to cut your pretty little white lesbo ass with whatever happens to be handy at the time."

SIDENOTE: Randy Jackson was asked what he thought about all of the affectionate attention Simon Cowell is receiving from Kara and Ellen. The "Black Dawg" smiled, shook his head, and replied, "Well I guess dat da Dawg is either gonna have ta lighten his skin a little bit ala Michael Jackson or else take up golf."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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