Hilary Swank Disturbed by Hillary's Wank
A classic comedy of errors was to be witnessed this past week at the Hotel Intercontinental in New York, as the Oscar winning Hilary Swank's beauty sleep was disturbed by the former President of the United States and our current Secretary of State, H...
Read full storyCutback Books: Slim Volumes For The Era Of Austerity
with Tilly Wrestleman Greetings dear friends and fellow bibliophiles. The compliments of the season to you all. As the old Hungarian proverb has it: "May all your geese be fat ones, and all your relations be dead." 'Tis a fallow period through which we are forced to trudge just now. Where are the new books? They are conspicuous by their lack of existence, my dears. So, thus it is, dear r...
Read full storyNewt Gingrich Vows To Eat Harry Reid's Shorts If Omnibus Bill Passes
POLITICO reported today that if Harry Reid's Omnibus Bill passes the Senate, Newt Gingrich vowed that he will not only eat Reid's shorts, he will kiss Barney Frank's ass. Former House Speaker Gingrich, now lining his ducks up for a possible run...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Shakes Off Her Good Girl Image, Goes Crazy, Dancing in Vegas Stripper Bars
Vanessa Hudgens of, High School Musical, fame is reported to be dancing from stripper pole to stripper pole across the city of Vegas. Vanessa who recently broke up with her long term boyfriend Zac Efron is in Vegas celebrating her 22nd birthday.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus's Salvia Story Is Such Bullshit According To Party Goers
Miley Cyrus, teen star and songstress was caught with her pants around her ankles when her "friend" video taped her smoking a bong. In stepped, damage control, who advised Cyrus to say she was smoking salvia. Salvia is a plant in the, herb mint fa...
Read full storyLife is Stranger Than Spoof #4
This is a new feature in the Spoof. It is the stuff you can't Spoof, it is already a spoof on it's own. I'll scourer the net and bring it to you with no fuss no muss, all of it unfortunately true to life. There are times when I find myself writing stories I can't improve upon so I thought I should share some of these. Here is: Life is Stranger Than Spoof #4, A dry Niagra Falls Ancient Ro...
Read full storyDanish politician wants to use topless women to terrify immigrants from emigrating to Denmark
A Danish politician has hit on an innovative approach to prevent immigrants from moving to Denmark - especially in view of the fact that many of its newest immigrants come from male-dominated, misogynistic Muslim countries. Unable, unwilling, disr...
Read full storyScratchit Family Dreaming Of A Shite Christmas
The UK government and the Bank Of England are hoping that the population in general will go out into the nation's High Streets, supermarkets, and shopping malls this Christmas and spend, spend, spend in order to boost our ailing economy. Which is...
Read full storyRicky Ponting forced to change his name
Ricky Ponting, current skipper of the Australian cricket team, has announced that he is having to change his name and title to fit in with Australian trade description laws. "My form with the bat has not been all it should be, and so these days du...
Read full storyFox News: Majority Approve Tax Cut and Global Warming a Hoax
Washington - Fair and Balanced Fox News announced two new polls that show their unbridled lust for reporting the truth. Both stories don't mirror any stories be reported by an new organization, but that hasn't stopped Fox News from report the fac...
Read full storyCharles Hates Variety
The future of the Royal Variety Performance has been thrown into doubt after Prince Charles revealed he was so bored that he was forced to have a conversation with Camilla. The Prince of Wales, who attends the performance every year, was said to...
Read full storyThe Real Reason Scarlett Johansson And Ryan Reynolds Are Divorcing
After just 2 years of marriage (or the equivalent amount of time NBC's 'Joey' sitcom series survived), the world's most beautiful, perfect, sexy, enigmatic, and interesting couple are going to have a nice dinner at The Keg-- meaning Mr. and Mrs. Stef...
Read full storyIs Harry shagging scrawny-arsed Britney lookalike Cat Ommanney?
London - (Cellulite News): "You'll just have to wait for the kiss 'n' tell," LA FagHagSlagMag's Dave Skank chuckled sheepishly this afternoon. "But let's just say it's cougar mating season right now - the cold sure plays havoc with these forty-som...
Read full storyCleverest Man In World Says "Brains Keep Growing? Well D'uh!"
Scientists have revealed that contrary to previous understanding, the human brain keeps growing into middle age. It is established science that our bodies are, generally, fully grown by the age of 21. But now it seems the brain keep going Prof...
Read full storyThe Cockney Eastend barrow boys Magazine
Allo! Me old china plates! wots bin apenin on the home frunt. Well, for a start, me old mans minces ave all gone to pot an he cant make his way down the frog to the rubba dub. Course, hes got the right ump, an given me muvva a bak ander. I've gandered it, an bosh! I've given him a clump on the loaf an ees gone darn like a sak of tom tit. While all this is gowin on, me skin an blister i...
Read full storyBlack Eyed Peas Member will.i.am Responds To Cheryl Cole's Crotch Claim
BOISE, Idaho - The Black Eyed Peas recently performed to a semi-standing room only crowd at Boise's Mashed Potatoes Arena. After the concert vocalist will.i.am met with a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune, Fauna Goobergarden. She asked ab...
Read full storyLeak Man Out
A Judge has risked his life by allowing Julian 'WikiLeaks' Assange out of prison on bail. Despite the efforts of the Crown Prosecution Service, working on behalf of Sweden and America, Assange was granted bail only on condition that he stayed in a ca...
Read full storyStanley Unwin Gazette
Hello! And welkimole to anotherment of this monthlyweek magazind. Deep joy of the throkus, and oh yes! Porkus of the yelldibowl Mr Arkitot merrybot. Welldrink and hoe thus thrum of letter writ all nicy! Neverfore we markint a passopot of welly jamnut, and, vendibold thier brooms of thinky like germinote and candort. There ist a moot of gatherfold peepy lots and crowd plenty on the neve...
Read full storyDisaster Facing Britain
Fears are growing about the British weather. As forecasters predict ice and snow of unprecedented levels throughout the Christmas period the terrible facts are becoming clear to everyone. Our Christmas could be a TOTAL WIPEOUT. We face the grim...
Read full storyLibraries rebranded as a lo-tec Kindle
The British Libraries Association have undergone a major re-branding to compete head to head with Amazon's Kindle. "It's a major initiative," said Rowena Reddalot, High Priestess of Librarians. "Kindle's marketing policy is to highlight their posi...
Read full storyWeeki Leeks does it again
Serious rumblings of discontent (from our man on the inside) have been heard among many Tory MP's after Cleggies intention to feather the nests of so called asylum seekers and spend more of our precious money on their numerous children whilst shaftin...
Read full storyJulian Assange to be extradited to Sweden
Assange the WikiLeaks dude who is in trouble everywhere in the world was today granted bail in the UK high court. Ausi' born Assange is facing deportation for charges of a sexual nature committed in Sweden of all places. His lawyer said today: 'I...
Read full storyGays not welcome at Qatar world cup
This could be a problem for any knob jockeys hoping to support their team in the 2022 World Cup because in Qatar it's illegal to be gay or display any gay tendency in public. Sepp Blatter FIFAS president said 'Leave your gayness at home you shit...
Read full storyAfghan Brothels Lobby Against Troop Premature Evacuation
While U.S. and international coalition forces update their plans for total departure from Afghan territories, local brothels are appealing to the Karzai government to postpone early troop withdrawal. Speaking on behalf of the UPA, (United Pimps of...
Read full storyAlcoholics Anonymous close their Newcastle branch
Alcoholics Anonymous have decided to close their Newcastle branch after nobody came to any meetings for the thirtieth month on the run. "We thought Newcastle would be a good place to set up an AA branch," said Alan Collic. "We'd heard there was a...
Read full storyChrysler Recalls 367k Mini-Vans After Beer Cans Cause 'Rattling Noise!"
Chrysler was forced to recall almost 400,000 popular mini-vans after dealers reported customer complaints of body rattles discovered to be discarded empty beer cans stashed in wheel wheels, under the spare tire, and in headliners. The problems f...
Read full storyX Removed from Alphabet in Austerity Measure
Cuts in education spending in the United States have forced educators to pare costs to a bare minimum. Class sizes have almost doubled, old, worn out textbooks are being used in place of new, and in the latest rounds of cuts, the letter X has been re...
Read full storyTwo 'White' Brits Killed In US Air Strike In Pakistan
The US Defence Dept has revealed details of two 'white' Brits who died during an air strike in Pakistan. The deaths occurred during an attack on a suspected al-Qaeda terror group. The men's names have been given as Abdul Bin Larfin and Mustapha S...
Read full storyMatt Cardle, Katie Waissel, Wagner: "Let's Have A Discount Card!"
Stars of this season's X Factor are demanding a new perk for contestants - high street discount cards. They believe that once the show is over, there's little left for the attention-craving wannabes. "They give so much," said one insider. "The...
Read full storyHoward Stern Opponents Shocked and Appalled at New 5 Year Contract
Howard Stern, Robin Quivers and Fred Norris all announced they would be on the air for another 5 year contract, this week. This group, is the core of the Howard Stern Show that is broadcast 4 days a week, 4 hours a day, over Sirius Satellite radio. S...
Read full storySleep Number Sidewalks for Homeless among Republican Earmark Requests
Currently in the Senate there is somewhat of a catch 22 occurring. While before the recent elections and before the tax deal was struck with President Obama, the Republicans saw nothing wrong with continuing their practice of asking for as many earma...
Read full storyThe New Home Edition Board Game "TSA Pat Down" Is This Year's Biggest Selling Christmas Item
CHICAGO - A spokesperson for The Hasbroken Toy Company, Fillmore Fritz Wellywick, has told a group of national toy purchasing agents that this year's biggest Christmas selling item is the "TSA Pat Down" home edition board game. Wellywick noted tha...
Read full storyTaylor Swift and Miley Cyrus Purchase The Nation's Largest Cell Phone Factory
LOS ANGELES - It is official; Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus have just purchased the nation's largest cell phone factory in the United States, Cell Phonez Inc. The 400,000 square foot factory is located in Chocolate Bayou, Texas and sits on a 29 acr...
Read full storyCamilla, The Duchess of Cornwall, Comments On The Divorce Rumors Regarding Her And Prince Charles
LONDON - Speaking from an English garden that happens to be one of the biggest English gardens in Great Britain, Camilla, aka the Duchess of Cornwall, aka Mrs. Prince Charles, had a spot of tea with a reporter for the English tabloid Jolly Bloomin' R...
Read full storySarah Palin Buys Condo in Miami's Little Haiti District
Fresh off her international tour of Haiti, Sarah Palin can't stop talking about the positive influences she took away from this small Island country. In fact, Palin was so smitten with Haiti that she has begun looking into buying a condo in Miami's L...
Read full storyPoland Christens Its Newest Submarine - The PS Wikileaks
GDYNIA, Poland - Polish President Bronislaw Komorowski and Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk have just christened the newest edition to the Polish navy. The vessel is a type PP-9 ethanol powered submarine which has been christened the PS Wikileaks...
Read full storyHill Street Blues To Roll Again - With Spoof Writers!
Hollywood insiders today revealed to Skoob Entertainment News that popular 80's cop soap opera Hill Street Blues could be reborn, with staffers from TheSpoof.com playing the leading characters. Hollywood producer, Bernard Isotope, told SEN's Bufft...
Read full storySusan Boyle has been invited to write some stories for The Spoof
Susan Boyle was recently approached with an offer that no one in their right mind would accept - an opportunity to become a Spoof Writer. Susan did NOT hang back and immediately accepted the challenge, promising to write at least 2 stories per day...
Read full storySkating With The Star's Star Decapitated By Double Axe Axle Twist!
Skating with the star's Buffy Heddress nearly pulled off a perfect Double Axe Axle Twist on Tuesday nights show. But the ice soon turned blood red when her male amateur partner Francis Mullheir failed to properly initiate the "twist" needed to keep t...
Read full storyParrots, India and the physics of Intelligence produces an equation
Professor Otto Ammon was entranced by the beautiful colors of Amazon parrots and decided to read information on them and then he made the discovery that evolution created arranged marriages for Amazon parrots. Ammon said, "Evolution created this arranged marriage for those parrots through the process of environmental demands and the system of trial and error and the need for living cells to...
Read full storySarah Palin Goes To Haiti for Foreign Policy Experience
Port-Au-Prince - Sarah Palin has a list of weaknesses a mile long, but this past week she checked off 5 items: * Foreign Policy, lookin' concerned with poor children of an ethnic minority * Speaking to reporters in front of a bunch of lumber...
Read full storyMatt Cardle Not Gay! Shock Christmas Announcement!
This year's X-Factor winner, Matt Cardle, has shocked the music industry by announcing in his new book that he is not at all gay, and that he likes doing press-ups with ladies, as opposed to pumping iron. Essex lad and former painter and decorator...
Read full storyCannabis Chardonnay Wins "Best of California" in Experimental Wine Category
The Stoner Brothers Winery of Napa Valley have come away from the 2010 California Wine Awards with the title "Best of California" in the Experimental Wine Category for a lovely little white wine they developed in 2005. Their Cannabis Chardonnay was b...
Read full storyBoy Tries To Touch Ke$ha's Junk, Junk. With His Lips.
The Interwebs are abuzz, hot on the news that Ke$ha has released a series of nude cellphone pics of herself. Horribly, they show her vagina. And some guy trying to give it mouth-to-fetid mouth resuscitation. "Oh my f--king God, I can smell it t...
Read full storySusan G. Komen Announces First 'Abort For The Cure' Rally For AIDS-Curing Stem-Cells.
Just days after the discovery that embryonic stem-cell transplants can cure both AIDS and leukemia, the cancer research foundation Susan G. Komen has announced that the first "Abort For The Cure" walk in Manhattan will occur in February. Stem cell...
Read full story57 Year Old Man's Lost, Castrated Testicles, Found by a Families Bird Dog.
A family's Irish Setter brought a man's lost testicles home for dinner. A man was castrated on Tuesday by an enraged father that discovered a 57 year old man was putting the meat to his 17 year old daughter. "I did what any responsible father wou...
Read full storyLocal Man In High Street Tat Store Christmas Shopping Terror!
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was last night relaxing at home enjoying a quiet drink, following a traumatic High Street trip in search of tatty Christmas bargains, with long suffering wife, Anne, loyal stepdaughter Gertrude, and two of his grandchild...
Read full storyQueen Released from Care of Local Authority
HM the Queen is back home at Buckingham Palace tonight, wondering not for the first time how it all went so wrong. In this latest instance, HM was forced into protective care after telling people 'I don't think he looks like my father at all.'...
Read full storyBalotelli: "Make Me Captain and Let Tevez Rot in the Reserves"
Italian striker Mario Balotelli has boldly claimed he should be made Manchester City's new captain. With current captain Carlos Tevez looking for an escape route out of Eastlands the Bad Boy feels he's the man to lead City to glory - until June that...
Read full storyEbenezer Scrooge to Change his Name
What he wants for Christmas is a name change. Mr. Scrooge held a press conference in NYC's Times Square and told reporters that he soon planned to file papers to legally change his name. "How would you like to go through life with a na...
Read full storySurrealist Letters To The Editor
Dear Penguin-Wallpaper, My nom-de-guerre is Francesca Nelligan-Spume and I live in a plant pot. The other morning at 3am, I was walking my Octopus 'Debussy' across South West England when my middle hand exploded on the Clifton Suspension Bridge. Apart from the fact that this bridge was Brunel's very first project, I am troubled by the mysterious Arab Chieftain who is never there when I get home...
Read full storyHelena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren
Buried under accolades for her role in the King's Speech, the actress Helena Bonham Carter has now put the actress Helen Mirren on notice that her days are over as reigning queen of actresses portraying reigning queens. "Going forward, I deserve...
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