Susan G. Komen Announces First 'Abort For The Cure' Rally For AIDS-Curing Stem-Cells.

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 16 December 2010

image for Susan G. Komen Announces First 'Abort For The Cure' Rally For AIDS-Curing Stem-Cells.
Who's got stem cells for Daddy? What wittle boy has stemmie-wemmie cells for dada?

Just days after the discovery that embryonic stem-cell transplants can cure both AIDS and leukemia, the cancer research foundation Susan G. Komen has announced that the first "Abort For The Cure" walk in Manhattan will occur in February.

Stem cells from a fetus have the ability to differentiate into a diverse range of specialized cell types," said a Komen Foundation spokesperson. "These specialized cells can turn into anything, and cure any disease."

"Unfortunately, the stem cells need to be harvested from fetuses, which is why we are calling on every pregnant woman to have an immediate abortion and donate the fetus to Komen."

"We were looking forward to having our first child," said Julie Eisenbeirch, who was due six months from today. "But when I found out that my little one could help someone I've never met be cured of a disease that doesn't affect me, I jumped at the chance to terminate the pregnancy."

"We'll always remember little baby Jessica for curing the homeless IV drug user who paid for his treatment with Medicaid."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more