Derek Hough In Secret Tryst With Gaga And Sarah Harding!
Several members of the public today came forward to state that they had seen Dancing Derek Hough out on the town with musical luminaries, Lady Gaga and Sarah Harding, in what has been described in some quarters as a 'secret tryst.' Dancing Derek,...
Read full storyPope Changes Name in Effort to Quell Sex Scandal
Pope Benedict XVI has become Pope Ratzinger I. The Vatican says the name change is a PR effort to distance the pope from covering up or ignoring sexual crimes by Catholic priests around the world. "That was Benedict, for example, who refused to...
Read full storyWoman Chockes on Penis
Just like it says, Caroline Winfields, 28, is rushed to the emergency room April 3, Saturday night at 3:00 a.m. due to asphyxiation. When Doctor Craig, 43, questioned her partner of the cause of the asphyxiation, he sheepishly admitted that she was c...
Read full storyCorrie Lesbian Lip-Lock Would Be Better With Rosie And Tina
A group claiming to represent the vast majority of Britain's heterosexual males have declared that producers of hit soap Coronation Street have dropped the ball. By opting for the first lesbian on-screen snog in the show's 50 year history to feature...
Read full storyPeter Andre in new love triangle twist
Rumours are circulating regarding a love triangle between Peter Andre, Susan Boyle and ex-Atomic Kitten Kerry Katona, famous for her love of large quantities of frozen foods and fad diets. According to our sources Peter was caught climbing out of...
Read full storyRed Devil Malcolm Glazer to pick Susan Boyle in Upcoming NFL Draft
The world's best known slumlord and most hated pro sports owner, Malcolm Glazer, hinted that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will select Susan Boyle with their first pick in this Aprils NFL draft. Denying that the move was cost related the 21st century's ve...
Read full storyFictional entertainer Onion Morris dies
Onion Morris Born September 1945 Died September 2008 was a welsh television personality who was mostly active during the great cheese sandwich debate of the 1970's. As well as being Wales' first person to do cocaine off a prostitutes butt crack w...
Read full storySusan Boyle stuns XFactor nobodies who wish they were somebodies
Superstar, Susan Boyle, allegedly turned up at the XFactor tour today in Glasgow, Scotland a Twitterer twatted earlier this evening. Miss Boyle, showed off her £6000, bling bracelet, a birthday present from Simon Cowell and handed out £50 notes to...
Read full storyJews Finally Counter-Denounce Catholic Church
After 2000 years of being made the scapegoat for the death of Jesus Christ, the Jewish Anti-Defamation League went for the throat of Catholicism when they denounced the Catholic Church for claiming the latest media attack on the Pope for his alleged...
Read full storyAmerican Idol and Survivor in Bidding War over Kate Gosselin
There is no doubt about it, America loves to see Kate Gosselin get riled up, especially when she's trying so hard NOT to be a bitch. Her famous scowling face on Dancing with the Stars is garnering more viewers than even American Idol. And now the...
Read full storyBanker Buys Boyle with Big Bonus
The president of one of Britain's biggest banks today acquired one of Britain's biggest voices in a deal thought to be in the region of 60 million pounds (approx 90 million USD). Bobby Diamonds, the president of Bastard Bank completed the purchase...
Read full storyVictoria Beckham, Cheryl Cole, Taylor Swift, and Miley Cyrus Form An All-Girl, All-Star Band
NEW YORK CITY - In a move that surprised the music world British singers Cheryl Cole and Victoria Beckham have joined with American singers Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus to form an all-girl, all-star band. The group which takes its name from the in...
Read full storyCenterfold Shauna Sand Denies Any Involvement With Jesse James
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Shauna Sand, the ex-Mrs. Lorenzo Lamas, has stated that contrary to the rumors that are circulating throughout the Left Coast she is not "TattooGate's" Cycle Chick #6. The 38-year-old "Sand Witch" is famous for seducing her 18-yea...
Read full storyGorden Brown taxes fart
Prime Minister Gordon Brown has recently expressed his deepest concern towards the overgrowing number of his cabinet members who find it difficult to keep their bum shut. According to one insider source, ''the number of cabinet ministers who fart...
Read full storyObama Speaks Out Against Anti-Skepticism
Washington - President Obama made a impromptu speech on the White House lawn yesterday speaking out against anti-skepticism which he believes is growing threat to the news worldwide. "I believe one day we can live in a world where the news does not have to live in fear for its' safety. There needs to be a safe home for the news where it is not threatened by the evil forces of anti-skepticism."...
Read full storyChubby Brown speaks his mind about Jesse James
Chubby Brown is fed up to the 'chuffing' back teeth with all the hullaballoo about Jesse James. "Who the f**k does 'e think 'e is?" Chubby is quoted to have said in a recent interview with 'Persons' magazine. "'E's a f*****g puff and 'e can't even pick a f******g original name. Jesse James my a***e. A know for a fact 'is real name's Nicholas Fartingham-Brown. See our lass told us that, co...
Read full storyLEC Slated To Begin Smashing This Summer
It appears that the world of science and politics are about to meet head-on, and the result may be the biggest explosion in recorded history. Deep under the mountains of Colorado, engineers and construction crews have been working long hours to co...
Read full storyGordon Brown and Czar Putin Hunt Loch Ness Monster with Bows
Soon to be former Prime Minister of the UK Gordon Brown met up with former Prime Minister and current Czar of Russia for a Nessie hunt. The idea came from recent articles stating Brown needed to man up if he expected to win the upcoming election and...
Read full storyNaked riots break out in Queensland
Queensland, the Australian Sunshine State, is known for warm weather, tropics, nudity, and now civil unrest. The Natural Nest Nudist Colony near Townsville is located on a secluded cove surrounded by palm trees, tropical flora, and strategically pl...
Read full storySuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt
Contrary to popular belief, the Wild Haggis (Haggis scoticus) is neither a mythical creature nor extinct. Although nearly hunted to the verge of extinction, a colony of this shy and reclusive creature has retreated to the banks of the River Almond a...
Read full storyFace of Christ on a Sheeps Backside
Ballygobackwards Co Clare. - The sleepy village of Ballygobackwards woke this morning to the glare of the media. Television crews and journalists descended on the little Irish village. The reason for all this attention was the reported vision of C...
Read full storySpace Shot - Sean Penn Signs Up to Be Venezuela's First Astro-nut!
Narco Dictator Hugo Chavez was said to be "out of his mind" with happiness after a recent visit from KGB strongman Vladimir Putin who promised to bring Venezuela into the space age with Soviet Rocket Technology. While most westerners consider So...
Read full storyJersey Shore Scandal: Springsteen Caught Doing Pushups Over Gym Partner! Can You Name THAT Tune?
More notoriety for the stomp and grope group known to inhabit the New Jersey shore as Rocker Bruce Springsteen is named as correspondent in a fiery divorce suit by jilted husband. A 45 year old redheaded mother of two was said to have become sm...
Read full storyAnt and Dec the new Morecambe and Wise
After two years of investigation it has now been revealed that the top ITV act of Ant and Dec are gradually morphing into 70's and 80's comedians Morecambe and Wise. Scientists at the University College London have now finished their studies and have...
Read full storyBig Fat White Bastard Murdered In South Africa
South Africa has been rocked by the brutal murder of a big fat white bastard. The Nazi bastard was hacked to death while he slept on his farm. It has been suggested that one of the killers was an employee. The fat bastard had been a major player i...
Read full storyAmerican Idol May Replace Simon Cowell with Kate Gosselin
After seeing its ratings taken over by Dancing with the Stars, the producers of the hit show American Idol had an epiphany. "Kate Gosselin should so be the next Simon Cowell." Since Simon Cowell isn't making enough people angry anymore, the show n...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Beats Simon Cowell as Meanest Person on TV
For the first time in history, well recent popular television history anyway, not real history that actually means anything, Dancing with the Stars beat out American Idol as having the most viewers. Some say the three divas heading up the dance pa...
Read full storyLady Gaga bribes prison director to let her stay in after outrageous video!
After filming her raunchy prison video, Lady Gaga, enjoyed her time so much amongst the horny, female prisoners she demanded to stay a night or two in the slammer. She offered the prison director, Lady Maud Clit-Suck, a bribe and a part in her vid...
Read full storyYou Wanna Kiss in Dubai? Read the laws first!
According to a recent BBC report, A British couple jailed in Dubai for kissing in public have lost their appeal and have been sentenced to a month in jail, deportation and a fine. They should have read the laws of Dubai before they entered the country: * Kiss in public: 1 month in jail. * Open mouth kiss in public: 2 months in jail. * Open mouth kiss in public with tongue down to...
Read full storyPrison Bitches in the US form union after exposure through reality soaps
Due to exposure through reality soaps like "The worlds hardest prisons" and Louis Theroux visiting San Quentin, PRISON BITCHES are now are organising a union called "The BFPBU" (leave that one to your imagination!). Sick of being passed around fro...
Read full storyPope Benedict has Eggs Benedict for Breakfast
Pope Benedict had Eggs Benedict for breakfast this Easter Sunday, while he thought over how he is going to protect pervert paedophile priests. The Paedophile Priests of Easter past, the Paedophile Priests of Easter future, and the Paedophile Priests...
Read full storyWhite House Easter Egg Scandal: FDA Tells Kids "Don't Eat Eggs-They're from China!"
A breaking scandal has impacted Michelle Obama's campaign to 'eat healthy' as it has been revealed the 14,500 Coloured Easter Eggs hidden on the White House Grounds were imported from China and contain deadly toxins! The traditional hunt on Easter...
Read full storyIt started with a kiss never thought it would come to this.
Two British citizens were sent to jail in Dubai today, after losing their appeal against conviction for kissing in a restaurant after they had a cup of hot chocolate. Its just as well they did not copy the scene from When Harry Met Sally as they migh...
Read full storyPaperless society to be backed up by paper
The U.S. Government Accountability Office (GAO) has audited the use of computer image and hard disk technologies, for the purpose of archiving all government documents, and concluded computer technical stuff does not sufficiently protect the governme...
Read full storyDr Who stole my Easter Eggs
Gillian What mentioned to family and friends that the Easter Eggs, she bought were stolen from her place off work at a health centre in North London. What Gillian did not know was the trouble this was going to cause because she said to people during...
Read full storyPixie Lott picks a lot of Easter Eggs
Pixie Lott the multi talented actress,dancer ,singer, songwriter was seen out in London yesterday buying Easter Eggs. Pixie Lott was out buying Easter Eggs for family and friends but there are a lot of reports that she picks a lot of Easter Eggs and...
Read full storyEaster in Easterhouse with no Easter Eggs
If anybody ever offers to take you on a tour of Easterhouse in Glasgow, say no and make sure you don't change your mind. Easterhouse is one of the most poverty stricken deprived areas of Glasgow where if you see a cat with a tail its a tourist.
Read full storyRobert Pattinson asks was Jesus a Vampire
Robert Pattinson claims there is evidence that Jesus Christ, might have been a vampire,as only vampires can rise from the dead. In vampire Movies, vampires are frightened of daylight, which Robert thinks is something to do with the fact that Jesus...
Read full storyAmericans Need To Check Out THIS Guy's Birth Certificate
There is a man whose birth certificate should be given a lot of scrutiny. No, he is not Obama. This guy is whiter than Wonder Bread. He has done more to influence American policy in the last 10 years than possibly anyone else. And he is not an Americ...
Read full storyKatie Price So Heartbroken Over Peter Andre's Upcoming Iceland Wedding She Slaps OAP
Katie Price did little to enhance her tarnished reputation Friday when she slapped an Old Age Pensioner over a parking bay dispute outside a Brighton store. An argument broke out when a man protested at Price's occupation of a disabled parking spa...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Recruits Gaga, Pixie Lott And SuBo For New Girls Aloud Album
With uncertainty clouding the issue of whether or not Girls Aloud will all be able to gather in one place to work on the new album they're under contract to make, Cheryl Cole has arranged for replacement singers in case of emergencies. The other f...
Read full storyFuel Theft Leaves Western Hemisphere In Lurch
Just after 10:00 am this morning (East Angola Time), Venezuelan President for Life, Savior of the Native Peoples and Supreme Socialist Boy Scout Leader, Hugo Chavez, called an impromptu news conference with all nine (9) international press representa...
Read full storyGaga To Janet Jackson - Chillax? WTF?
Janet Jackson, sister of that weird one Jackson who died last year was left blinking in the headlights like a cornered potting shed technician today after telling Lady Gaga to "chillax." Jackson's kindly words of advice came after Gaga came over a...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Proposes Girls Aloud Survival Package
With the future of Girls Aloud precariously hanging in the balance, our sources inform us that Cheryl Cole has come up with what she believes to be the perfect survival package, which will allow the band to move on together. Since the girls took a...
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