Fictional entertainer Onion Morris dies

Written by Baz Magnum

Sunday, 4 April 2010


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Onion Morris Born September 1945 Died September 2008 was a welsh television personality who was mostly active during the great cheese sandwich debate of the 1970's.

As well as being Wales' first person to do cocaine off a prostitutes butt crack while simultaneously presenting pre school programmes for the under fives about the effects of heroine. Onion was born in the small village of balls north south east of Rhyl to a badger called Bert and a shire horse named Mildred.

By the age of seven Onion was grafted into the "welsh entertainment school for twats" where he would be seen practicing the electric spoons by none other than Pete Mardyarse the celebrity agent who gave Timmy mallet a smack for not eating his eggs on holiday. Anyway, from then on Onion was invited to star in his own kids show called "tickle my onion" where he would teach kids the skills needed to play the electric spoons and teach adults to behave like kids to get an extra day off work. He did this for 10 years from 1970 to 1980 where he would spend the rest of his career working for retired entertainers in the "Bob Monkhouse rest home."

In 2007 it was announced that onion was coming back to do a fifty date tour of Skegness traveling with his "electric spoon orchestra" on his "This is shit tour" but sadly while rehearsing for a whole year in a shed in his underwear collapsed after a bottle of white spirit hit him on his head and he died of defecation.

He will be sadly missed, on the plus side there's a sale on at spoon world so get yourselves down to spoon world junction 1 off the m998.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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