Several members of the public today came forward to state that they had seen Dancing Derek Hough out on the town with musical luminaries, Lady Gaga and Sarah Harding, in what has been described in some quarters as a 'secret tryst.'
Dancing Derek, who has popped up in the headlines more recently than the Pope, has already been romantically linked with Cheryl Cole, Nicole Sherzinger, Katie Price and Ricky Martin, although he denies that any hanky panky or wrongdoing of any kind is - or has - taken place.
As is only to be expected.
However, eagle-eyed celeb observer, Mavis Jumpsuit of Pasadena CA is absolutely positive, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she saw Dancing Derek huddled over a table in Esme's Chicken Shack with Lady Gaga and Girls Aloud bikini-babe Sarah Harding.
Eating corned beef hash and sipping mugs of hot milky Ovaltine.
The significance of which was not lost on Mavis Jumpsuit.
She pointed out that the last time Dancing Derek Hough dined on corned beef hash and drank Ovaltine, he ended up spending seven hours in Cheryl Cole's hotel room.
Comforting her over her marriage break-up with a swizzle stick and a travel iron.
Not being prone to jumping to conclusions, it's our carefully calculated conclusion that Dancing Derek may be having a sexual relationship with Sarah Harding, which he wants neither Cheryl Cole, nor Nicole Sherzinger to find out about. As for Gaga, he's probably taking her shopping for shoes because the ones she normally wears aren't really suitable for dancing.
We think. After all, anything is possible.
If you try hard enough.
More as we get it.
