Gaga To Janet Jackson - Chillax? WTF?

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 4 April 2010

image for Gaga To Janet Jackson - Chillax? WTF?
An Axe Chilling

Janet Jackson, sister of that weird one Jackson who died last year was left blinking in the headlights like a cornered potting shed technician today after telling Lady Gaga to "chillax."

Jackson's kindly words of advice came after Gaga came over all dizzy in New Zealand last week and blamed it on the jet lag. Apparently Jackson thinks that Gaga's been working too hard.

Maybe she has a point. It must be hell on the neck muscles wearing them big hats, and it must be knackering climbing up all them stairs to get to that giant piano. Maybe Gaga should just "chillax" as Ms Jackson advises.

And probably would, if she actually knew what "chillax" meant. Gaga, who insists that she is far from being a stupid individual, was forced to admit that she did not know - at the risk of sounding idiotic - what "chillax" meant.

Our researcher told us that "chillax" is a hybrid bastardisation of the words 'relax' and 'chill.' Which also makes no sense, because chill means to freeze, or make very cold, and it's almost impossible to relax when you're shivering.

Eventually Gaga accepted that Janet Jackson wasn't simply trying to make a monkey out of her with some clever street talk, and said that she was grateful to Jackson for the concern she showed, and the advice she offered. But requested that any future concerns or advice should be put forward in English so that she can understand it.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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