Centerfold Shauna Sand Denies Any Involvement With Jesse James

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 4 April 2010


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Shauna Sand has had so much collagen put into her lips that they have become so big she goes through one lipstick per day.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Shauna Sand, the ex-Mrs. Lorenzo Lamas, has stated that contrary to the rumors that are circulating throughout the Left Coast she is not "TattooGate's" Cycle Chick #6.

The 38-year-old "Sand Witch" is famous for seducing her 18-year-old step son A.J. Sand later said that she was merely giving him advice on how to treat his girlfriend.

A.J. said that he did not even have a girlfriend at the time and that he is so traumatized by the incident that he says he never wants to ever see a female with silicone tits, swollen lips, and nipples the size of drink coasters again.

Jesse James was asked about his involvement with Shauna Sand and he started coughing and replied, "Hey, I know that I'm nothing but cheap white trash, but I ain't that cheap to even sit on the same love seat with a disgusting, weird-titted skank ho like SS."

James asked, "Dammit it dude. Have you see the bitch's knockers? They've slipped down and they are not situated about two inches above her navel. Damn it is an ugly sight."

Sand was told of Jesse's remarks and the ex-Mrs. Llamas replied, "Well if that ain't a fine example of the pot of beams calling the kettledrum black."

In other news. Toby Keith has stated that Sarah Palin better ease up on her bullshit spewing rhetoric or else he is going to start calling her the fourth damn Dixie Chick.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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