Gordon Brown and Czar Putin Hunt Loch Ness Monster with Bows

Written by Cuff

Sunday, 4 April 2010

image for Gordon Brown and Czar Putin Hunt Loch Ness Monster with Bows
Asta la Vista David baby!

Soon to be former Prime Minister of the UK Gordon Brown met up with former Prime Minister and current Czar of Russia for a Nessie hunt. The idea came from recent articles stating Brown needed to man up if he expected to win the upcoming election and who better to assist than a kick ass mad Russian.

The location was chosen for Browns desired ascension toward legendary status but better classified as fantasy. The early morning stalk along the banks of the famous reservoir went well until the sun cleared the tree line.

Putin stripped to the waist like a Bowflex buck but as Brown followed suit, or un-suit, visions of Pillsbury dough boy and pasty white rolls horrified the on looking crowd. One could only pray that those annoying blur circles that edit the best parts of television would appear.

Taking a superman pose Brown kicked off his oxfords (get it?) and in bare feet Superman posed while ripping away his shirt which revealed a Conanesque, not O'Brien, build sure to swoon every woman voter in the empire and instil awe and respect in every man.

Speaking in the deepest Schwarzenegger possible Brown smiled with an "I'll be bach" much to the amusement of the Czar.

Closer examination of the faux abs and pecs revealed the Adonis torso was some prop from a Japanese game show that ripped as Brown pulled back his composite bow at a rustling sound in the wood.

Out came the right honorable David Cameron, also in faux muscles, and the two would be world leaders got medieval on each other as Putin cheered them on.

The bizarre battle went on for minutes as they punched padding and rolled in the mud while gasping for air.

Finally Brown got the advantage by wrestling Cameron's greatest weapon away from him and held the silver spoon to his opponent's throat until he conceded.

Ti Cuff

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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