The State of Arizona Has Just Lost The Major League Baseball All-Star Game
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - President Barack Obama, in town speaking before the Annual Convention of The Mason-Dixon Cotton Pickers Union, stated that he is extremely upset with the citizens of Arizona. He said that he has issued a direct directive to...
Read full storyAnger as One Laptop Per Child reaches Gaza Strip
Angry mobs have again taken to the streets in the Gaza Strip after the humanitarian aid organisation One Laptop Per Child distributed its XO laptop to schools in the area. The crowds of rampaging young Muslim men were egged on by clerics who claim...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Moves To Quickly Quash The DeGeneres-DioGuardi Feud
HOLLYWOOD - Workers on American Idol, Simon Shindlebocker, 53, and Simon Witleywine, 59, have gone into damage control mode in order to put a lid on the Ellen DeGeneres - Kara DioGuardi feud. It appears that DioGuardi accused DeGeneres of telling...
Read full storyN-Dubz Too Wicked For NYC
Strange news from New York City - Harlem dude Chester Scott-Heron, who lives on 125th Street by the el-tracks close to Lexington Avenue invited British hardcore rappers N-Dubz from Camden Town over for a visit, but they declined. A clearly baffled...
Read full storyLast Authentic Mexican Restaurant Closes Today in Arizona
Nogales, Arizona - The only way Arizonans are going to get real authentic Mexican food after today is if they are fortunate enough to have made friends with some real authentic Mexicans, of if they are willing to risk life and limb trying to cross th...
Read full storyTwilight's Ashley Greene Breaks Ass
"I'm pretty sore right now and cannot sit down but I don't think it will interfere with my performance in the next Twilight movie", stated Twilight star, Ashley Greene, Wednesday. Apparently a big fan of Ashleys in Mexico had recently sent the sta...
Read full storyUSA Female submariners okay - Feminists angry
Newly released plans to allow women to serve on board US submarines has produced outrage amongst feminist groups. "While we agree that in general this is a good move, we are appalled at some of the overtly sexist suggestions that have been made by...
Read full storyVortexes in Sedona, Arizona Appear to be Disappearing
Sedona, AZ - Sedona, Arizona, once known world-wide as a Mecca for those looking for metaphysical experiences due to the unusually large amount of vortices (vortexes) located there, is seeing a string of unhappy visitors leave the various sites of Be...
Read full storyShock as English player picked for test series
England cricket selectors have today shocked the sporting world by announcing the inclusion of an English-born player in the squad to play in the forthoming Test series against Spain. Winston Ambrose (42) will become the first English player to re...
Read full storyAmerica and Russia hold adoption talks
Talks have been held in Moscow to discuss the adoption of Russian orphans by American families after Russia suspended adoptions earlier this month. The suspension following the case of a 7-year-old child who returned to Russia unescorted. When the...
Read full storySimon Cowell to wed childhood sweetheart
Simon Cowell has sold the exclusive rights to his wedding to world-class reporter, Donnie Dogmeat. The "Britain Agrees I've Got No Talent" judge will marry childhood sweetheat Pete Waterman in a lavish ceremony at The O2 Arena in June. Donnie D...
Read full storyCalls for mortgage 'exam' before borrowing
Malcolm Hurlston of the Consumer Credit Counselling Service proposed today that clients should have to pass an exam before being allowed a mortgage. Here at Spoofnews, we have obtained a draft copy of some of the exam questions: Dodgy Back Street Lender: Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer: 1) Would you like a mortgage? Yes Reputable High...
Read full storyNew genetically modified corn tastes like shit
USDA was horrified to learn the taste-test results of over 400 volunteer tasters who participated in a modified corn cook off last weekend in Heart, Kansas. Mildred Hogg, a 56 year old Kansas farmwife, had this to say about sample A217, "That sure...
Read full storyVladimir Putin claims: PM Gordon Brown doesn't have a real head!
Moscow - In a four hour press conference Vladimir Putin was asked about the remark that British Prime Minister Gordon Brown made about ex-KGB officers who once worked for the defunct Soviet Union. Mr. Brown in his best 'Prime Ministral' mood, stat...
Read full storyPeter Andre & George Michael To Rescue Greek Economy
All round nice guy Peter Andre has today revealed his plans to release a charity single with fellow Cypriot George Michael to help out the Greek government. In an interview with high-brow celebrity weekly Conceit, Peter said, "Oh man! I'm so conce...
Read full storyBrown changes tactics again
Prime minister Gordon Brown has once again changed tactics in his desperate attempts to woo enough voters to claim third place and cling to power. Retracting his apologies to "Some bigoted woman" in Rochdale, he went on the attack, claiming that i...
Read full storyThe WHO conference & the end of Mankind
Next year marks the 20th anniversary of the WHO conference and its got nothing to do with the famous rock band The Who, its the World Health Organisation and they have startling new evidence that sperm count in men is getting lower every year that pa...
Read full storySuBo Fanatics Decide on Housewarming Gift
After weeks of debate and internal wrangling, members of The Red Cult have finally decided upon a housewarming gift for Susan: a lovely pink and red striped daylily variety called 'Wild Haggis', named after the animal indigenous to Scotland. This...
Read full storyTiger: Addiction to Lutefisk Cost Me My Marriage!
In yet another half hearted confession, Professional Philanderer Tiger Woods came out in an attempt to clear up 'misconceptions' concerning his recent marital difficulties, but seemed to put the blame on his estranged Swedish wife Elin for his probl...
Read full storyBrown Goes Down!
Gillian Duffy last night confided her version of events to her "Old friend Max Clifford" who just happened to be hurtling towards Rochdale in his Jaguar after taking a wrong turning on the M25! This came as quite a surprise to Mrs.Clifford who sai...
Read full storyEngland, Scotland, Ireland, and Peru Ban Whitney Houston From Singing "I Will Always Love You" Ever Again
LONDON - After sounding more like a lousy-ass singer at a tryout for American Idol, Whitney Houston has had the boom lowered on her has-been, talentless-booty. The black singer, who once was considered one of the best singers in the world, has now...
Read full storyCapello sacked as England boss
In a shock move, it was announced today that England boss Fabio Capello had been fired. The decision was made after bosses were told that Capello had been exposed by this undercover intrepid reporter as a foreigner. Bertie Piledriver, Chairman...
Read full storyBrown battles to salvage disastrous campaign after 'Bigfoot' blunder
London - (Foot-in-Mouth): The Prime Monster worked hard on his compassionate side today after inadvertently comparing a Lancashire woman pensioner to Bigfoot, the notorious American yeti, yesterday. Campaign staff deliberately left his microphone...
Read full storyPrescott's chipolata set to sizzle
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today announced that he is to retire from politics to forge a new career as a celebrity chef. Prescott told a hushed and empty House of Commons: "Ever since I bought a burger van three weeks ago, I have dream...
Read full storyJackie Kennedy and Maria Callas were sisters new Hystery Channel mini-series reveals
New York - (Greeks-Bearing-Gits): A new eight-parter featuring Katie Holmes as Jackie and Susan Boyle as Callas has been hailed a major scoop for the iconic cable broadcaster. The mini-series will lay bare the Callas/Bouvier mythology that saw b...
Read full storyForeign Banks suffer accidental hate campaign
Branches of several foreign banks have been suffering a concerted attack of vandalism, excrement smeared on windows and pushed into the night deposit boxes after severe dyslexic anarchist, Mary Hinge, joined the Anti-British National Party Organisati...
Read full storyTea Baggers Defeat Cleveland Steamers in Grudge Match
The long anticipated rematch between the former Dwarf Tossing champions, the Cleveland Steamers, and runners up last year, The Tea Baggers, yielded a new champion. The Tea Baggers won this year's event by a single Dwarf bull's eye in the 10th end of...
Read full storyThe BNP on Newsnite
After the release of the BNP's General Election manifesto for 2010, the Chairman of the BNP was interviewed by Jermyn Pacman on the BBC's flagship current affairs programme 'Newsnite'. A full transcript of the conversation follows. NN: "Good evening. How are you ?" BNP: "I'm feeling particularly indigenous today, thank you." NN: "Do you want an apple juice ?" BNP: "Oh, I'd love an ap...
Read full storyDead Good Samaritan Left On NYC Street A Lesson For All
The fact that several passers-by allowed a man who had went to the aid of a women in trouble and been stabbed, to lie dead on the street last week has left many to begin taking action. This was revealed by a report seen on NBC where a New York Cit...
Read full storyTiger Woods Defends One Hundred Women "Friends"
In a hastily called press conference with only three minutes warning, golf great Tiger Woods told over 3,000 press agents who managed to make it just in time, that fans and friends, especially his over 100 "special" girl friends" have been great.
Read full storyKatie Price: Why I'm Against The Digital Economy Bill
Katie Price has today lashed out and revealed her anger at the rushing through of The Digital Economy Bill during Parliament's wash-up period. At her daily Price conference a furious Katie fumed, "This bloody Digital Economy Bill is an outrage!!!...
Read full storyMarinated Shrimp Sales Boom in Louisiana
The start of the shrimp fishing season in the Gulf of Mexico will come with an unplanned limitation in packaging options, but Southern U.S. states are excited over the reduction in price anticipated for marinated shrimp this season. Expected to ha...
Read full storySuBo fanatic gives birth to fanatic!
A red scarf wearing Susan Boyle fanatic last night gave birth to a fully-formed SuBo fanatic. The child who will, of course, be named Susan (even though it's a boy) was born wearing a red scarf, clutching $25, and humming 'I Dreamed A Dream'. Other f...
Read full storyEngagement for Bella on Beltane at Twilight
Kristen Stewart is set to get engaged to Twilight, co-star Robert Pattinson, on the 30th April at Twilight. The 30th April, known as Beltane is the Eve of Mayday and is every bit as important on a witches calendar as Halloween. Kristen who play...
Read full storyBrown's Blunder brings more bad news
Gordon Brown woke this morning to yet more bad news about his campaign after learning that Gillian Duffy the pensioner from Rochdale he branded only yesterday as a 'Bigoted woman' is to stand for election herself. Despite apologies Browns massive...
Read full storyMichael Douglas blames fame for Cameron 'Screwups'
Michael Douglas blames fame for Cameron 'Screwups' not that David Cameron him that's due to become Prime Minister of the UK, its Michael Douglas's son Cameron. Douglas has said that fame in the family and the many drug and alcohol abusers have had...
Read full storyLady Gaga becomes the Lady In Black
Lady Gaga was seen yesterday with yet another bizarre outfit as she arrived at a dance studio in Los Angeles, wearing a bizarre black bodysuit and funeral veil. Some people were calling her the Lady in Black, instead of the Lady in Red, in the famous...
Read full storyAl Gore upsets little boy by telling him his ice cream melted because of Global Warming
Al Gore is back to start his Global warming lectures again now that spring has arrived and the temperatures are getting warmer. While walking to a hall in Las Vegas, where he was due to do a Global warming lecture he spotted a little boy who's ic...
Read full storyNASA Tries to Sign Up Martians for Classes, Martians Resist
After reading Stephen Hawking's comments that aliens may be unfriendly and dangerous, NASA has arranged a series of "Good Neighbor" classes for Martians. Housing, free meals, and cable TV (Sci-Fi channel included) are part of the planned curriculum...
Read full storySandra Bullock chooses Billy The Kid over Jesse James
Sandra Bullock has revealed that she has adopted a baby in secret and has got shot of husband Jesse James. Bullock claims she should never have married a cowboy and now that she has adopted this baby she has no time for Jesse James. The baby is no...
Read full storyResearch Finds Uncanny Fatality Rates in Terminally Ill Patients
Harrison Driftwood, a leading researcher at Townsville's Institute of Biotechnology and Biomedicines, has released a new controversial paper claiming that sufferers of terminal illnesses have an 'alarmingly higher' death rate when compared to suffere...
Read full storyHubble should zoom in on Uranus? Brown goes haywire!
Gordon Brown is the sort of guy that anybody with any sense would like to give him a good boot up the arse. Even although these walkabouts for television purposes are staged and the people they speak to are picked in advance Brown still managed...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Siobhan Is Gone!
HOLLYWOOD - On a night that saw performances from Sons of Sylvia, Rascal Flatts, Shakira, Daughters of Bartholomew, Lady Antebellum, The Kinks, and The North Carolina Marching Tar Heels Band, the six remaining American Idol contestants just about all...
Read full storyLiam Hemsworth Says He Would Leave Miley Cyrus For Pamela Anderson
MILWAUKEE - Liam Hemsworth appearing at the grand opening of the newest Jack-in-The-Box stated that he is a big fan of the dancing reality show Dancing With The Stars. He was asked who his favorite celebrity dancer is. Without missing a beat Liam...
Read full storySouth Africa's President Zuma - HIV negative
South Africa's President Zuma has revealed that he is HIV negative in a move that has surprised many and brought condemnation from others. Mr Zuma said, he hoped to "promote openness, eradicate the silence and stigma attached to the disease and ma...
Read full storyThe Famous Hollywood Sign Will Be Demolished To Make Room For a Mickey D's
HOLLYWOOD - The world famous Hollywood sign which was built in 1923, is scheduled to be demolished in order to make room for a brand new Mickey D's Restaurant. Pablo Chimichanga, co-owner of The Chimichanga Cousins Demolition Company based in La B...
Read full storyArizona To Secede From The Union
PHOENIX - Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, who is 65, has made it known that the way things are going, the sovereign state of Arizona will probably have no choice but to secede from the union. The governor, who looks like a cross between Melissa Ether...
Read full storyDozens of Psychics Warn 'Something Big' About to Happen
Wednesday saw a hotbed of psychic activity as readings poured in from all over the country from psychics warning that "something big" is coming down the pike. They could not hone in on exactly what it was, but said "it is big, really big." Reporte...
Read full storyGordon Brown offers 'bigoted woman' job in cabinet
Gordon Brown has said he is "thrilled" after being caught on microphone describing a pensioner he had just spoken to as a "bigoted woman". He went on to say she would make an excellent addition to his cabinet. Gillian Puffy, OAP and bigot, 65, had...
Read full storyBNP Candidate To Sue Satirist For Misrepresentation
Adolph Bachman, the BNP candidate for Dudley in the West Midlands has emerged with all guns blazing against a satirist for everything he possesses, including his toilet seat and his prized collection of pickled eggs. "That bastard has gone too far...
Read full storyNeanderthal Evidence Suggests Humans Have Always Been Bastards
BRISTOL, U.K. - A new study suggests that self-importance dates back to before the Neanderthals. Archaeologist Zoão Bilhão of the University of Bristols in England said he and his colleagues have discovered 50,000-year-old perforated, painted seas...
Read full storyNative Americans in Arizona Vow to Deport All Non-Native Americans
Navajo Nation - The Navajo, Hopi, all Apache Nations and all other Native Americans who presently reside in Arizona have joined forces in an effort to show the haughty Arizona residents just exactly who has every right to be in that State. Said C...
Read full storyAustralia shelves CO2 plans - Hits smokers instead
Members of the Australian government are said to be furious after it had to put plans for a flagship emissions trading scheme on hold until 2013 at the earliest after it was twice rejected by the Senate. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said angrily, "Th...
Read full story