Malcolm Hurlston of the Consumer Credit Counselling Service proposed today that clients should have to pass an exam before being allowed a mortgage.
Here at Spoofnews, we have obtained a draft copy of some of the exam questions:
Dodgy Back Street Lender:
Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:
1) Would you like a mortgage? Yes
Reputable High Street Lender:
Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:
1) Would you like to buy a property? YES/NO
2) Would you like to give commission to our salesman for selling you a mortgage? YES
3) Would you like to further help our salesman's family with commission on a payment protection insurance policy, which might (if you are extremely lucky) pay out if you are unable to work through illness or redundancy and is a compulsory part of the purchase? YES
Government-owned Banks
Please answer all of the following questions by circling the appropriate answer:
Sorry - we have no money to lend to you - If you have money to lend to us, then please say yes now and we will be round to collect it in the middle of the night? - YES
We look forward to seeing the repossession figures jump further - along with bank profits and bonuses.
