Written by Donnie Dogmeat

Thursday, 29 April 2010

In a shock move, it was announced today that England boss Fabio Capello had been fired.

The decision was made after bosses were told that Capello had been exposed by this undercover intrepid reporter as a foreigner.

Bertie Piledriver, Chairman of football's xenophobia sub-committee, told me: "It has come to our attention that the man can barely speak English. I suppose one can really only marvel at the way this sneaky johnny foreigner slipped through the net."

Football bosses now believes that Capello actually sent a professional lookalike to be interviewed for the England job.

"It appears that we were fooled and we have to hold our hands up, said Piledriver. "Investigations suggest that the person claiming to be Capello at the interview was none other than Nancy Dell'Olio but the similarity is remarkable."

The timing of Capello's sacking could hardly be worse with the England team about to lose to the USA in the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Football bosses have vowed to move quickly to avoid further humiliation and have drawn up a shortlist of candidates which includes Jose Mourinho, Rafa Benitez and Brian Clough.

England striker Payne Looney told me: "The boys is gutted but we has just gonna get on with playing crap as usual. We've had a bit of a chat and we think the new boss should be Paul McCartney, coz he's done a brill job so far at Wolves."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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