Jackie Kennedy and Maria Callas were sisters new Hystery Channel mini-series reveals

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 29 April 2010

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Katie Holmes will play CIA plant Jackie

New York - (Greeks-Bearing-Gits): A new eight-parter featuring Katie Holmes as Jackie and Susan Boyle as Callas has been hailed a major scoop for the iconic cable broadcaster.

The mini-series will lay bare the Callas/Bouvier mythology that saw both women screwed over by corpulent Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis.

Based on the CIA's DNA archives the plot focuses on the woman recruited by the CIA into wedlock with the USA's 35th president.

And whose husband was shot on November 22 1963 'on Vatican orders' executed by Vice President Lyndon Johnson - played by Rober De Niro.

Various Callas biographies have hinted broadly about the existence of a sister called Jackie, originally christened Yakinthi in the original Hellenic tongue.

This will be the first time however that a major TV channel will trace the story of a massive Establishment cover-up.

This saw Jackie's official birth father, Mad Jack 'Blackjack' Bouvier - played by Will Ferrell - exonerated from global-scale racketeering, espionage, arms-dealing, assassination broking and other hybrid forms of organised crime.

Since her death in 1994 Jackie's estate has gone overboard whitewashing sinister aspects of her dark cold whore - er cold war! - past.

But both her children were born with extremely Hellenic looks, with John Junior the most starkly and obviously Athenian-looking of the two.

Tom Cruise is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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