American Idol's Siobhan Is Gone!

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for American Idol's Siobhan Is Gone!
Siobhan's grandmother Voila (L) and her grandfather Percival Magnus(R). (Photo courtesy of Warren Beatty).

HOLLYWOOD - On a night that saw performances from Sons of Sylvia, Rascal Flatts, Shakira, Daughters of Bartholomew, Lady Antebellum, The Kinks, and The North Carolina Marching Tar Heels Band, the six remaining American Idol contestants just about all but got lost in the shuffle.

In fact, Big Mike Lynche, actually went out onto the American Idol parking lot and had a couple of cigarettes before he was told by AI producer Simon Shindlebocker to get his big black butt back in the building (alliterated paragraph brought to you by the letter "B.")

For some reason Crystal Bowersox, who is still favored to win the top prize, seems to be losing more and more confidence. On the performance show, she actually became the first contestant in American Idol's 9 year history to sing her song from her dressing room.

Ryan asked her if maybe she wasn't getting kind of carried away with the nerves things a bit. Bowersox, which rhymes with moon rocks, shook her head in a 'no' manner.

The bottom three saw Mike Lynche, Casey James, and Siobhan Magnus. Lynche is getting to be a regular and you can see by the expression on his face that he wants to kick the hell out of Simon Cowell, aka The British Baron of Bitterness.

Aaron Kelly, who just recently turned 17 going on 27, was so nervous that he actually saw two pimples break out on his face right before his eyes.

And Forth Worth cowboy, Casey James, went up to Kara DioGuardi and asked if they could go out for dinner after the show. Simon Cowell overheard him and told James that after the show he and Kara were going to go to the Halifax Movie Theater and watch Ron Jeremy in the Gunther Krottentokker directed porn film, Well It's Not Going To Lick Itself.

Cowell told James that Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson was available. Casey thanked him but added that he does not mix with members of other races, nothing personal, he just doesn't like those different from himself, except of course for Kara, but she's a girl.

SIDENOTE: After all of the hoopla that gave the show a Grammy Awards feel the somewhat eccentric Siobhan Magnus, who finally started showing a little bit more of her legs, was sent packing on back to Boston, home of the River Charles' "Dirty Water."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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