Written by Donnie Dogmeat

Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Shock as English player picked for test series
Howzat!

England cricket selectors have today shocked the sporting world by announcing the inclusion of an English-born player in the squad to play in the forthoming Test series against Spain.

Winston Ambrose (42) will become the first English player to represent the team for more than 20 years - since the glory days of Allan Lamb.

Ambrose will team up with West Indian all-rounder Tetley Teabag to open the bowling in the five-match series.

The 12-man squad for the match is:

Tetley Teabag (ex-West Indies)
Winston Ambrose (Brixton All-stars)
Craig Pantswetter (ex-Mandella Vandals)
Kevin "Sir Les" Peitersen (Cape Town Raiders)
Jonathan Trottski (ex-Moscow Mules)
Adil Rancid (ex-Bombay Potatoes)
Dimitri Nana-Mouskouri (ex-Athens Accademicals)
Monty Panacetta (ex-cricketer)
Eoin Morgan-Freeman (ex-Wrexham Pitdonkeys)
Mark Rampsupsomecash (ex-Tiller Girl)
Owais The Lads Shah of Iran (ex-Persian Pillowbiters)
Sajandonion Marmite (ex-Elephant & Castle Nomads)

England coach Rachel Heyhoe-Silverlining said: "I have been talking to the Spanish captain, Kepler Wessels, and we believe the sides are very evenly matched. We are particularly looking forward to the challenge of facing their hostile opening attack of Bretto Leo and Fidello Edwardo.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cricket




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