Marinated Shrimp Sales Boom in Louisiana

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Marinated Shrimp Sales Boom in Louisiana
The 2010 Shrimp Harvest after a little cleaning in paint thinner.

The start of the shrimp fishing season in the Gulf of Mexico will come with an unplanned limitation in packaging options, but Southern U.S. states are excited over the reduction in price anticipated for marinated shrimp this season.

Expected to haul in record catches this season, shrimp boat captains are prepared to work with current environmental conditions to bring as much product to shore as possible. "Coated with as much oil as they are, we'll just package them in marinated, zip lock bags and call it a day", says Captain Tim "Tiny" Johnson. "It's probably best that you don't steam them or use them for sushi".

Referring to the massive crude oil spill now covering most shrimp fishing grounds, Captain Johnson also recommends, "You might want to rinse them off in paint thinner first, then into the fry pan with lots of spice, anything to kill the taste of the crude. The good news is that the retail prices will be really low this season."

Several local restaurants are preparing for the low priced shrimp windfall as well, one near New Orleans featuring a pound of "Blackened Shrimp" for $2.95. "We won't need to do much to 'em", says Chef Paul Petrolo. "They are already blackened".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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