Twilight's Ashley Greene Breaks Ass

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 29 April 2010

image for Twilight's Ashley Greene Breaks Ass

"I'm pretty sore right now and cannot sit down but I don't think it will interfere with my performance in the next Twilight movie", stated Twilight star, Ashley Greene, Wednesday.

Apparently a big fan of Ashleys in Mexico had recently sent the star a donkey as a gift after finding out that Ashley loved riding the animals and had it shipped to her Aunt and Uncle in Arizona.

Greene stated that she spent a lot of time on her Uncle and Aunt Douglas' "Greene Acres" ranch between movies to get away from everything and had ridden horses since she was a small girl.

"It feels really great getting a bunch of big horse flesh rocking you around."

The donkey proved to be a little on the wild side but Ashley stated that she knew that the secret of keeping a wild ass under control, was to ride the animal for the first few times while completely naked.

"They like the smell for some reason", she stated. "Just like the all the jackasses in Hollywood, they like for you to ride them bareback."

She then told one of our reporters sent to Arizona after hearing about the incident, that there is something special about skin to skin contact that donkeys love.

"However, this one got spooked by a chicken. Even though I had broken it in and had it quit bucking, the squawking, flying chicken surprised both of us."

So Ashley slid off of the ass right onto her own ass hitting the hard-packed earth.

"I'm just a bit sore yet, nothing broken. However, I did manage to break that little ass. He'll be fine to ride now."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more