American Idol Moves To Quickly Quash The DeGeneres-DioGuardi Feud

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 29 April 2010

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Simon Shindlebocker. (Photo courtesy of Simon Cowell).

HOLLYWOOD - Workers on American Idol, Simon Shindlebocker, 53, and Simon Witleywine, 59, have gone into damage control mode in order to put a lid on the Ellen DeGeneres - Kara DioGuardi feud.

It appears that DioGuardi accused DeGeneres of telling Simon Cowell's fiancée Mezhgan Hussainy that she (Kara) spends most of the time during the commercials reaching underneath the table and playing with Simon's bibbidy boo (wiener).

DeGeneres rolled her eyes and replied that she is 56-years-old and she has never ever heard a man's pecker referred to as a bibbidy boo; a dinky dink yes, a groin gizmo yes, a wiggle widget yes, but never a bibbidy boo.

Kara fired back that it did not surprise her that Ellen had never heard these penis euphemisms seeing as how DeGeneres is a lesbianite and only knows euphemisms for the bikini burger (or love harbor as it is called in Portland, Maine).

Simon Shindlebocker called both women into his office and he sat them down. He made it very clear that both would apologize to each other and conduct themselves in a dignified manner and not like those crazy old black and white fat bitches on The View.

In breaking news. Reports are still somewhat sketchy, but it appears that GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter has broken her tongue after getting into an extremely heated argument with an undocumented illegal alien, Troy Galloway Fernandez, regarding the high prices of imported Mexican piñatas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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