Effects of Booze on Random Number Generation

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

image for Effects of Booze on Random Number Generation
Better than Quantum Cryptography? I don't care, give me another beer.

Professor Herman Verbose, of the Gunthar Institute Berlin has been running a quite remarkable experiment that has drawn in students from all over Germany.

His post-doctorate students had successfully applied for a grant off the German government to test the effects of alcohol on the random number generating capabilities of the human brain.

"It is well known that when asked for a number, the average person will always give the same answer, usually thirty-seven. Yes of course, there are the oddball mathematics students who will always answer Pi, but these are also not producing a random number, but instead a consistent number."

Professor Verbose's class wondered how alcohol would affect this seemingly unrandom randomness.

"After two litres of beer, the numbers generated by the students remained as consistent as before, but by twenty litres, their numbers were becoming truly random. We believe that this alcohol drenched capability of the human brain is the perfect devise for modern cryptography, which as most people are aware, requires an endless supply of truly random numbers. And to be frank, drunk students are far cheaper than the caesium atom energy level detectors that they are currently using, and works equally well."

After such a roaring success, Professor Verbose next wants to test alcohol's effects on promiscuity.

"I am looking forward to that one," he said, rubbing his hands.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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