Important Findings In University Study

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

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University waster's. Green grass just out of sight.

A university has published it's finding's on the often quoted saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'.

The £51,000,000 study, funded by taxpayers, was commissioned by Barry Twatt of the University of Life And Cultural Science in Twickenham.

"We decided to investigate if, infact, the grass truly was greener on the other side," said Twatt. "The main aim was to put to bed the myth that you should be happy with your lot. Who know's, a change may well be what's needed, and if we can prove that change is best, then we have succeeded."

The three year study involved eighteen different students, living different lifestyles.

As one student began to get bored of clubbing, let's say, he would move on to drinking in the pub. The student who was drinking in the pub would move on to living in a brothel, and so on.

Each student would note down their experiences and when this data was fully compiled, it was used as a doorstop for three months, while the team used the last of our money on a truly massive bender.

"We can categorically state that the grass IS always greener on the otherside," said Twatt, "but it's just as difficult to cut."

A similar study is being conducted in Leicester to discover if a bird in the hand is infact worth two in the bush.

This is not to be confused with the study taking place in Nottingham where they are trying to discover if two hand's in a bird's bush was worth it.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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