Lovesick teen inadvertently brings about world peace

Funny story written by Trip Nasti

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

image for Lovesick teen inadvertently brings about world peace
Darrens Worm

Darren Seal, a teenager from Bristol, has been attributed with ending all war and plunging planet Earth in to a time of unprecedented peace.

On Wednesday, Darren and his then girlfriend Margo, were involved in a rather bitter argument over play-doh.

After pleading with his sweetheart not to get on the number 56 bus out of his life, Darren was unable to contact his estranged girlfriend by telephone, so came up with an ingenious way of getting his message to Margo.

Darren, who is a computer whiz and part time hacker, set about writing a type of virus known as a Worm. But Darren's Worm, rather than causing untold damage would mearly post the following message on his and Margo's friends and families Facebook, Twitter, Bebo and MySpace pages.

"OK, so we argued, but doesn't everyone? It would be wrong to walk away from what we have! Together, we can work this out."

It wasn't until after Darren had set his worm free on the world that he realised the complete ambiguity of his message.

Darren had hoped that by doing what he had, Margo would notice at least one of his messages and contact him.

But Darren's worm had other ideas.

Like a digital 'Littlest Hobo', Darren's worm travelled through cyber space posting messages on the pages of people all over the world.

Couples who had recently split were hit first by Darren's worm. The cheeky little fella went on to post its heartfelt message on their social networking pages.

Thousands of couples have praised Darren's worm for bring them and their partners back together.

But it didn't stop there. Next Darren's worm moved on to message couples that had been apart for many years and then on to couples that had never been together at all.

Darren's worm seemed to possess an insatiable desire for togetherness, obviously inherited from Darren's emotional computer programming.

Playground bullies, office bullies, the generally unkind, the permanently hacked off and religious fundamentalists all fell under the charms of Darren's loving worm.

After days of bringing people together, Darren's worm went on to tackle our world leaders, which it did with oodles of finesse and aplomb.

Leaders everywhere declared that war was rubbish but hugs were awesome!

Frightened soldiers all over the globe downed their tools and hugged their former targets.

The world was finally at peace thanks to what will always be remembered as 'Darren's worm'.

The common earth worm has five hearts in its puny body, but Darren's worm has one massive pulsating heart, right at its tip.

I guess what everyone really wants to know is, are Darren and Margo back together?

The answers is no, Margo told Darren to go f**k himself.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more