Palace lockdown as Fergie's murdering dresser absconds jail

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

image for Palace lockdown as Fergie's murdering dresser absconds jail
Andrews's grace 'n' favor prison suite was a pushover

London - (Tossers): Buoyed by a prison grope therapy session the Duchess of York's former dresser has legged it from her HMP Belmarsh grace and favor suite.

Jane Andrews was last seen heading for Windsor Castle, a Thanksgiving carving knife secreted up her jumper.

Andrews, 69, earned her Belmarsh stripes via deft use of a cricket bat about her ex-lover's head.

At her Old Bailey trial lawyers argued the charges were framed by 'someone important at the Palace.'

"My client was of course sleepwalking, M'Lud," attorney Shark E Blinkenshyster told skeptical jurors, "slap bang in the middle of a dream about cricket legend Ian Botham."

All royal residencies are now in lockdown, their occupiers in temporary bivouac at a remote and inhospitable Scottish island.

The Yorkshire Ripper has been offered favorable terms for an imminent parole.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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