The United Nations Security Council has today announced that the much-talked about War Crimes Trial of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair will definitely take place 'some time soon' and without a doubt, "within Mr Blair's lifetime", a UN spokesman has said.
Blair took Britain into the war in Iraq by 'hoodwinking' the general public into believing that Saddam Hussein had long-range weapons, and with about as much consideration for its consequences as one would when swatting a fly - that is, none.
The results of the conflict have been that Britain has, in Muslim eyes, aligned itself more closely with the US, alienated itself from the Islamic peoples, and has greatly reduced the number of markets operating on Iraqi soil.
An unforeseen consequence has been that Britain is now itself under constant threat of attack at home from would-be terrorists and have-a-go merchants who would be otherwise bored 'studying' at university or sitting at home waiting for their dole cheques.
Tony Blair was the Prime Minister to break the mould; he smiled a lot - too much, in fact - and he had the kind of face that made you wish you were holding a hammer in one hand, and a hammer in the other - in other words, two hammers.
In short, he was, and still is, a twat.
As to the timing of the trial, the spokesman would not be drawn. He said:
"Piss off with your pencils! You're not drawing me!"