Zombies Attack London

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

image for Zombies Attack London
Lord Skullington, back in his office.

Panic was palpable in the streets of London earlier today, as the city was seemingly taken over by the living dead.

It occurred at about 10:45am when the first re-animated corpse was spotted shuffling along Westminster Bridge.

Onlookers were baffled at first and just stood by, watching the creature dragging it's feet along the pavement. All of a sudden though, the creature let out a haunting, sorrowful moan and this began the spread of panic.

"Nothing on earth could make that sound," witness Larry Tubbs said, "nothing natural anyway."

Within minute's the bridge was chaos. People running in panic, trying to reach one end or the other. "There were several people trampled in the rush," said Emma Krand, another witness, 36.

By this point more of the creatures, presumably attracted by the commotion on the bridge, had stumbled up the road, arms outstretched, and each one making that terrible drone.

"We just fought to stay alive," said Nick Scrote, a student who was drawing portraits on the bridge, "I left my easel and just pegged it, as fast as I could. I'll never forget the grabbing hands, and the drool, and that moaning!"

Many more never made it. Trampled in the rush or crushed against the side of the bridge. "I saw a few fall over the edge, well I think some jumped. Poor sods, rather the cold death of water than to stay there and face that," said Scrote.

Armed response and riot-police were quickly on the scene.

Detective Badger of the yard said, "we rounded up the creatures quite quickly. Our officers only suffered minor casualties in the attack. We are fully trained in these emergencies."

A memorial is to be held for the lost next week, when the Queen will read the names of those that perished, and Gordon Brown and David Cameron will fight for photo opportunities

All the creatures were returned to the House Of Lords to discuss fox hunting and which port goes best with cheese.

The doors have been securely bolted once more.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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