Written by raouldukecommando

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

image for Clarkson 'wanked into my glove compartment'
The car avoiding photographers this morning

Jeremy Clarkson, the high-profile presenter of 'Top Gear', has created controversy yet again - this time by masturbating into the glove compartment of a car belonging to a female guest of the show.

The incident, which happened after filming had finished, has succeeded in putting the career of the gaff-prone celebrity in jeopardy.

The car, a brand new Porsche, was parked in a side-street near Television Centre. 'He said he really liked my car,' said Lucy Morgan, 24, 'and asked if he could have a go in it. I assumed he meant drive it.'

Clarkson, it is alleged, unzipped his trousers and, obviously in a state of heightened arousal, proceeded to masturbate himself into the open glove compartment. 'I tried to pull him off, but that just made things worse.'

The presenter is no stranger to sexual controversy. Last year, he was photgraphed anally-raping a Volvo S40 in Nottingham and, as recently as September 2009, he was very publically divorced from his wife, a BMW 4-series, for sleeping with high-class Italian sports cars.

Clarkson was unavailable for comment last night, but his colleagues on the show suggested it was a cry for help. Or something like that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
141 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more