Clarkson 'wanked into my glove compartment'

Funny story written by raouldukecommando

Tuesday, 24 November 2009


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image for Clarkson 'wanked into my glove compartment'
The car avoiding photographers this morning

Jeremy Clarkson, the high-profile presenter of 'Top Gear', has created controversy yet again - this time by masturbating into the glove compartment of a car belonging to a female guest of the show.

The incident, which happened after filming had finished, has succeeded in putting the career of the gaff-prone celebrity in jeopardy.

The car, a brand new Porsche, was parked in a side-street near Television Centre. 'He said he really liked my car,' said Lucy Morgan, 24, 'and asked if he could have a go in it. I assumed he meant drive it.'

Clarkson, it is alleged, unzipped his trousers and, obviously in a state of heightened arousal, proceeded to masturbate himself into the open glove compartment. 'I tried to pull him off, but that just made things worse.'

The presenter is no stranger to sexual controversy. Last year, he was photgraphed anally-raping a Volvo S40 in Nottingham and, as recently as September 2009, he was very publically divorced from his wife, a BMW 4-series, for sleeping with high-class Italian sports cars.

Clarkson was unavailable for comment last night, but his colleagues on the show suggested it was a cry for help. Or something like that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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