Clown says clown may have been involved in intelligence
The curious death of a professional party clown on Sunday has gained the attention of Londoners, with some wondering if MI6 and the United States Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) were somehow involved. "Turbee" the Clown died of an apparent case...
Read full storyStar Trek's George Takei Doesn't Like Ruling Against Gay Marriages
The California Supreme Court's decision to uphold the state's gay-marriage ban won't affect George Takei's marriage, but the actor is still unhappy with the ruling. "It will ultimately reach the Supreme Court I guess", stated "Sulu". Although t...
Read full storyRoadie Says He'd Stop Another Bullet For Willie Nelson
Harv Flener makes no bones about it. "I love Willie Nelson like a brother and if it came down to it, I'd step between Willie and some angry woman again, if I have to." It's only been five years since the last time a woman who claims Willie made he...
Read full storySusan Boyle swears at Shaheen Jafargholi - 'effin and blindin she was!'
Susan Boyle the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent was said to have shocked members of the public by effin and blindin' after Piers Morgan said "Shaheen you are the best singer in the whole wide world and then some". Onlookers who actually don'...
Read full storyManchester United Fail To Turn Up At Champions League Final!
It was a night they'd looked forward to with relish and anticipation, an occasion they had dreamed about, and, for some, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience the glory of a Champions League Final, but everything came tumbling down for Manch...
Read full storySusan Boyle, Did The Brahan Seer Predict Her?
Kenneth the Sallow (Coinneach Odhar) was born 300 years ago in the Highlands of Scotland. He was gifted with "the sight" - an ability to see visions that came unbidden day or night. His prophecies were so impressive that he is still quoted to this day. These came true: Some of his prophetic visions that have actually come true in the years following his death include: 1. The battle of Cul...
Read full storyNorth Korea and China: Brothers in Arm(s)
North Korea (Pyong Yong): By exploding Nuclear Pan Cake Weapon, North Korea has shown its intent to be brother of Big China. China has listed few classification criteria for North Korea to called it brother. These are listed as follows 1. Explode Nuclear Pan cake to show alliance to China 2.Fire banana Missile which were given by us (China) over Japan to show that you have guts to do it.
Read full storyDead Musicians to Perform at Woodstock 2019?
Supernatural activity of cosmic proportions will occur at Bethel, New York, if a local farmer's tale is true. Long deceased musicians will be performing at Woodstock 2019. When local farmer Zeke Henry was out shucking corn, some unexpected guests appeared to him, volunteering to perform at the 50th Anniversary Woodstock. Zeke Henry swears that he was not dreaming, has never taken L.S.D., and ha...
Read full storyNATO reckons Susan Boyle behind North Korea's nuke rant
London - (Humunguous Hairy Ass Mess): NATO top brass confirmed everyone's worst suspicions today: lardyarse warbler Susan Boyle is the monster behind North Korea's nuclear missile threats. Boyle, only daughter of that inimicable cold war tribute...
Read full storyBoyle Punches Brown
The worldwide sensation Susan Boyle has been in court today after 'apparently' punching Prime Minister Gordon Brown in the face and Lower stomach, as Gordons new talkshow 'Talk To Gordon' got out of Hand. Security couldn't get there in time to sto...
Read full storyQueen seen in pound-shop
The Queen was seen today in London's PoundCity with Prince Charles, followed by two very muscular security guards. She walked around the store, looking and taking many things, many people inside the nationwide store were looking and staring, whil...
Read full storyQueen breathes sigh of relief as Griffin finally eases pressure & pulls out!
British Queen, Peter Tatchell, today expressed relief upon hearing News that BNP leader Nick Griffin had "Been forced to pull out of Her Majesty's Official Function"! Mr Griffin was available for comment but Britain's steadfastly unbiased media or...
Read full storyRonaldo's Goal To Quit Football
Christiano Ronaldo told reporters tonight that he was hoping he would score a goal in the Man United game against Barcelona despite his self-professed hatred of football. "That's the aim of the game" he told us whilst smearing baby oil into his t...
Read full storyScience proves that dinos did hold their heads up high (whatever next!)
A ground breaking, historical, discovery revealed this time not by Jaggedones's CIA but by that everlasting satire programme, BBC world, was headlined this morning. Alongside bombs in Pakistan, North Korean rocket launches, the usual misery in Afr...
Read full storySusan Boyle virginity auction flounders
Susan Boyle's eBay auction of her virginity has got off to a poor start with only one bid of 1p submitted in the two days it has been running. The high bidder placed their bid shortly after the last episode of "Britain's got Talent". The singer...
Read full storyNorth Korea Draws International Condemnation
North Korea last night risked plunging the world into conflict as its provocative behaviour escalated. The rogue state has drawn worldwide criticism after some of its soldiers were spotted writing rude things on the North-South border. Slogans...
Read full storyRoyal Family boss pulls out of garden party
The leader of the Royal Family has said he will not attend a Buckingham Palace garden party. Prince Philip said he had 'no wish to embarrass the Queen' at the event. He had been invited to attend by his four children, and speaking from outside the...
Read full storyChampions League Final Venue Switched At Last Minute Without Manchester United Fans Being Told!
There was real drama in Rome this afternoon, after supporters of English champions Manchester United discovered, just hours before the kick-off for their Champions League Final showdown with Spanish giants, FC Barcelona, that the venue had dramatica...
Read full storyHow Much? Spoof Writer Outraged At £4.99 Charge For Publishing 499th Spoof News Story
Location: Not Rome, worse luck. - Spoof writer Skoob1999 was shocked and outraged this afternoon as he submitted his 499th Spoof News Story for publication, only to be told by the men upstairs at theSpoof.com that it would cost him £4.99 to have the...
Read full storyBurnley Promoted - Holland's Pies Lose Out
Premiership new boys Burnley FC may be over the moon with their promotion courtesy of a Wade Elliot 13th minute Wembley belter but the dream is over for shirt sponsors Holland's Pies of nearby Baxenden, Lancashire. Holland's three year sponsorship...
Read full storyHitler Underpants Withdrawn By Store Chain
In an eerie echo of a recent Spoof.com article which informed us that a documentary or somesuch was to be made about Hitler's underpants, it has emerged that a leading clothing retailer has withdrawn from sale a line of printed underpants which appea...
Read full storyBreaking News: Man stuck in drain
A man was found stuck in a roadside drain today. People believe he had lost some money, but when asked, he replied "Helloooo, oh where am I, I feel a bit----" After throwing his insides out of his mouth, he was taken by the police to the station.
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Sidelined By Football - Uproar Ensues
Fans of the UK talent show inspiringly named 'Britain's Got Talent' have reacted angrily to the news that BGT will not be screened Wednesday evening because of a football match taking place in Rome, which apparently takes priority. "It's outrageou...
Read full storyKim Jong-Il Told To 'Stop Being A Naughty Boy' By UN.
North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il was told in no uncertain terms by the UN to stop being a naughty boy by launching missiles hither and yon and upsetting leaders of other countries. Jong-Il, who was allegedly born on a mountain top and who is known...
Read full storyBNP leader Griffin offered dirty weekend at Balmoral
Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Fascist Ass Mess): Spurned and barred by Buckingham Palace garden party organisers from rubbing himself up against his fascist hoax monarchy relations BNP leader Nick Griffin has instead been offered a 'dirty' weekend...
Read full storyMiracle Hay Fever Cure Imminent
A team of British researchers at the Institute Of Hay Fever Studies has announced that a miracle cure for the debilitating condition is imminent, and hope to have their new product on the market in time for next year's hay fever season. Chief Rese...
Read full storyArsenal defender Senderos 'gobsmacked' by paternity slur as ex-Putin shag Alina Kabaeva gives birth to baby boy
Moscow - (ReUterus & Bolshevik Ass Mess): Arsenal defender Philippe Senderos is hopping mad. The AC Milan-loaned footballer is the subject of a Moscow newspaper's paternity slur claiming he successfully impregnanted Vladimir Putin's 'special...
Read full storyMelissa Rivers To Star In "The Story of Monica Lewinsky"
LOS ANGELES - Melissa Rivers, the daughter of Joan Rivers has been signed to star as Monica Lewinsky in the Ermenegildo Carpagiani film The Story of Monica Lewinsky. The movie is based on the Daffodil Devereux book, Cigars, Mouthwatering Pizza, an...
Read full storyPete sells arse to pay for divorce from Jordan
Peter Andre, the sexy singer with the toned abs and impossibly thick hair is desperately trying to raise the money to pay for his divorce from Jordan, the one time, model, actress, singer author, fund raiser, horse rider, fashion icon, binge drinker...
Read full storyToughest yet UN sanctions against North Korea
Following the testing of two nuclear weapons by the isolated and ever so slightly paranoid North Korea, the UN security council has vowed to impose its toughest yet, set of sanctions against one of the worlds looniest leaders. Former British Prime...
Read full storyRoma MMIX
All the latest on the 2009 Champions League Final from the Estadio Olimpico in the eternal city, complete with regular updates. Fans of Barcelona and Manchester United mingling freely in a trouble free atmosphere all over town. Six Manchester Unit...
Read full storyEverybody's Calling
David Cameron today issued a call to arms. He called out to all Conservatives and demanded that they call out for people everywhere to call for change. Gordon Brown responded by calling for calm and his Cabinet reiterated his call by calling for c...
Read full storyJade's mum reveals the truth behind the visions
Following from the shocking revalations that Jade Goody's mum Jaiqkwuie, has seen visions of her daughter in the clouds above Essex, it has become evident that seeing visions is a gift passed from generation to generation of Goodys. Speaking outsi...
Read full story'Fergie: The Movie' opens
A film about Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson opened in cinemas today, and this reporter managed to get someone to quickly open the fire door at his nearest OdeYawn branch, so he could sneak in and see it for nothing. Like most recent B...
Read full storyMiss California Approves Court's Decision on Same-Sex Divorce
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The State of California's highest court handed down a 6-1 decision Tuesday to uphold voter-approved Prop 86, which bans the practice of allowing recently married same-sex couples to break their sacred vows of matrimony. Gathere...
Read full storyAlan Shearer To Be Given The Freedom Of The City Of Hull
Newcastle United boss Alan Shearer got back down to brass tacks yesterday after his team were relegated at the weekend, and there was some good news for the Geordie, as it was announced that he is to be given the freedom of the city of Hull. Shear...
Read full storyCelebrity Big Brother Danielle Lloyd Gets Beaten Up For Being A Bigmouth
Danielle Lloyd, the former Celebrity Big Brother slapper, whose performance in the show brought Britain to the brink of war with India, has been beaten up by angry clubbers on a night out in London. Lloyd, the ex-girlfriend of ex-Tottenham footbal...
Read full storyOregon Hit With Pine Flu
PORTLAND, Oregon - Reports coming out of northern Oregon state that several employees with the Ashburn and Greta Dalrymple Lumberjack Company have come down with a case that local doctors are calling Pine Flu. Slayter Hiddenlake supervisor with th...
Read full storyQueen Bess II Names Susan Boyle Her Royal Successor
Some of the world and alot of England has been awaiting the appointment of a successor to the British throne. Most have expected that at some point between senility and incontinence, the Queen would allow her near senile and mostly pee pantsing s...
Read full storyObama Honors Confederate Dead...That They Are DEAD
Controversy swirled as America's first Black president contemplated the faxing a wreath to the tomb of the unknown racist soldiers who valiantly died in service to a cause just about equal to genocide. Human rights advocates begged Obama to leave...
Read full storyLiberals Celebrate Sotomayor in Sotto Voce
US liberals are so happy about Obama's nomination of a Puertoriqueno dama as a Supreme Court Justice that they don't know what to do. After so many years of suffering through the Bush family appointments of Italian- American fascists and self hat...
Read full storyBosux Big Puppy in Post Steroidal Slump
The Boston Red Sux former slugger, David Ortiz has gone from Big Poppy to big puppy in a mere few months. Ortiz whose present batting average is lower than the team IQ has sunk as quickly in the batting order as the Dow Jones.When the fretful on the...
Read full storyNew Apple "High Phone" Doubles as a Smokeless Bong
Seattle, WA - Apple announced today that it has perfected the "High Phone" - the first cellular phone that also functions as a smokeless bong (a water pipe, generally used to smoke cannabis, but also makes a great vase). Apple has nicknamed the ta...
Read full storyKim Jong-il kicked off set by "Bachelorette" star
PYONGYANG, NK - Jung Hyun-kyung, red with anger and visibly agitated, ordered North Korea's sixty-eight year old leader off the set of her country's highly popular reality TV version of "The Bachelorette" last night, telling him to "never come back!"...
Read full storyNew British TV Show All Set To Rival Hannah Montana
Move over Hannah Montana, there's a new kid on the block! That's the warning from Five Barred Gate Television as their new rival to the Disney sensation seems set to hit our TV screens sometime soon. Tracy Tynemouth is the name of this new product...
Read full storySusan Boyle In Expenses Row Over North Korean Nuclear Weapons Testing
In a graphic illustration of how quickly a star can be manufactured before being systematically deconstructed by an utterly unscrupulous media, the reputation of Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle was left in tatters this morning following a serie...
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