Woman Owns 1500 Cell Phones
(Philadelphia PA) A woman in Philadelphia has been diagnosed as the worst cell phone addict in history. Dianne Bell has 1500 cell phones that she carries with her and talks on 24 hours a day.
Read full storyJesus was bastard spawned by Roman legionary Panthera says Basic Instinct director
Hollywood - (Holy Ass Mess): Basic Instinct director Paul Verhoeven has written a new biography of Jesus which is guaranteed to get up the noses of the Vatican, celeb tabloid LA FagHagSlag reports today.
Read full storyRadder's So Straight, It Physically Hurts
It has come to my attention that there are many foolish people with very bad gay-dars out there. These people believe that great actor Daniel Radcliffe is homosexual, they are in fact wrong and I set out to prove this.
Read full storyDaniel And Rupert Boycott Emma Watson's Birthday Bash After She Refuses To Strip For Them
Last Saturday well known Harry Potter actress Emma Watson turned 18 and she threw a massive celeb party for herself. However both Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe didn't even bother to turn up. Something that was widely speculated about afterwar...
Read full storyNew "Celebrity Dead Brother" show unveiled by Channel 4
In a continuing effort to win the TV ratings war and offend the hard-pressed middle England licence-fee payer, Channel 4 has announced two new shows, due to hit our screens later this Spring.
Read full storyMonks angry, but can't vent their spleen due to no talking clause
Monks in the Foo King Province of China are said to be angry, and have been flicking the V and the Bird to the many tourists who visit the area, famed for its tranquility and oneness with nature.
Read full storyRecruitment Advertisements - the truth at last
Now, thanks to how useless, ineffective and overburdened with nonsensical American rubbish HR departments have become, many companies use job ambulance chasers (or "recruitment consultants" as they are sometimes referred to) to, well, recruit on their behalf. The following helps interpret the real meaning of terms mentioned within business recruitment advertising in particular: ATTRACTIVE SALA...
Read full storyOn The Buses
The Government keep telling us to stop using our cars, and after all, travelling by bus really can be so enlightening. You meet all types of interesting people, psychopaths and social dropouts.
Read full storyRadcliffe's Little Joke
The hunky acting sensation that is Daniel Jacob Radcliffe was rolling around on the floor with laughter today at his latest prank.
Read full storyDid Python put words in Obama's mouth?
A speech delivered by Barack Obama at an Ivy League University has led many to suspect that John Cleese has been hired as his speechwriter.
Read full storyDiet Affects Baby's Gender
Researchers at U. of Oxford & U. of Exeter have compiled evidence that the quality of womens' diets around the time of conception is statistically significant in determining the resulting children's gender. Well-fed females tend to bear more...
Read full story4 Objects Light-up Sky: Phoenix AZ, USA
(Kosmic Blues News) Digital, video & still photo images of 4 "reddish" objects hovering over Phoenix AZ made headlines recently. The US Air Force, North American Aerospace Defense Command & the Nat'l Aeronautics & Space Admin. have no...
Read full storyGuns N' Roses to perform on American Idol
Rock group Guns N' Roses are set to join the lineup for a once -off spectacular Rock edition of the immensely popular hit TV talent show American Idol.
Read full storyElvis in Bermondsey
News this week that Elvis Presley actually visited England in 1958 and was shown around London by cheeky rock n roller Tommy Steele came as no surprise to seventy year old cabbie Dave Smalls who spoke to The Spoof's reporter Conor McMuffin.
Read full storyNaomi Campbell Operation a Complete Failure
Despite press reports to the contrary, the recent operation undergone by former prisoner Naomi Campbell was a total failure.
Read full storyHeather Mills' Leg Is "Growing Again"
Multi-millionnairess Heather Mills astonished medical experts yesterday when she announced that her amputated left leg has started growing again, fuelling intense speculation that the ex-model's ex-husband
Read full storyEasyAir and RyanJet Gift Vouchers too much of a gift
Following hot on the heels of their appearances on the BBC's Watchdog, budget airlines EasyAir and RyanJet have both decided to re-align their gift voucher system and make them more customer-unfriendly.
Read full storyWhite-Nosed Tits Go Into Rehab
She said she didn't want to go to rehab, but now British songstress Amy Winehouse has been forced to enter rehab for alcohol and drug abuse following a court order.
Read full storyGordan Ramsay Omelet Surprise
Ingredients: 2 fuken eggs. 1 fuken bowl. 1 fuken whisker. 1 fuken oven. Method: 1.Beat the fuken...
Read full storyHillary saving up her Lorena Bobbitt moment to nuke Iran
Washington AC/DC - (Armageddon Mess): There was always a long-term reason for former First Lady Hillary Clinton to defer her very own Lorena Bobbitt moment during her husband's tenure of orifice DC strategists said today.
Read full storyPrince Harry to Personally Fight Taliban
High drama and new fighting techniques face the Taliban in Afghanistan as the armed forces reveal that Prince Harry is the new secret weapon in the fight against extremism in the region. Immediately he's finished joyriding around the south in his...
Read full storyConfessions of a car booter
Well, I went, I saw and I conquered my first (and possibly only) car boot sale of the year. And what an exciting day it was to boot (aaarrrggghhhhhhh! sorry).
Read full storyLiverpool's Riise In Transfer Talks With Chelsea
John Arne Riise, the Liverpool player who headed a late equaliser for Chelsea in the 95th minute of the Champions League Semi-Final first leg at Anfield last night, is to hold transfer talks with Blues' boss
Read full storyWhere are Trading Standards when you need them?
On the bus this morning, I was intrigued by some of the headlines and notices I spied.
Read full storyLap Dancing Replaces Line Dancing In West Midlands Town
(MIDLANDS) Stourbridge in the West Midlands now has so many lap dancing establishments, that local council bosses are considering changing the historic town's name to Patpong-on-Stour, it has eme...
Read full storyChi Sox Announcers Named Home Team Homorons
Home team announcers across the wide world of sports have varying degrees of home town loyalties. Who would ever blame a franchise's employees for favoring their favorite team? But an unanimous review of sports announcers has declared the Chicago...
Read full storyCamp Justice, Guantanamo Bay Cuba, Just a Little Bit of America
Cubans, long deprived of the unhealthy wonders of American capitalism, have begun in the thousands to gather around the barbed-wired, electrified and nuculear radiated fence around Casmp Justice. The reason for the communist penal envy is the assembl...
Read full storyAskFrFred44giveness takes questions on the Papal visit
Gargantuan Very, Very Reverend Fr Frederick the Great Titslesin has been inundated with questions since Roamin' Catholicism has hit the IT list of religions with Papal visit of Papa Panzer Ratzinger. Over the next few weeks, Fred the Great will be digging himself out from under the male pie, er the mail pile.
Read full storyNew TV Quiz Show, Al-Sadr Squares Wins Daytime Emmy!
Al-Sadr Squares, Emmy award winning daytime quiz show is scoring ratings as large as the numbers of corpses in Iraq.
Read full story"Breakfast at Tiffany's" being remade in 2009
LOS ANGELES, CA - Looks like there's a new Holly Golightly in town, and her name is Lindsay Lohan. Miss Lohan was chosen out of thousands of actresses looking to star in the remake of the famous black and white film, Breakfast at Tiffany's, s...
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