New London Kings Cross Enterprize Zone Announced
The GLC has announced its awards at the recently established Kings Cross Enterprise Tax Free Zone awards held yesterday prior to the departure of the packed 18.33 London to Leeds National Express Cattle Truck.
Read full storyFlaming Olympics
Well, the final leg of the Olympic flame, or perhaps is it the final flame of the Olympic leg - anyway - the masses they are revolting, and I don't mean a Sunday morning church service in rural Ireland.
Read full storyPanic as St George's Day Mushroom appears growing on Buckingham Palace lawn
London - (Rotters): The legendary St George's Day Mushroom (Calocybe gambosa) has been spotted growing under a Weeping Korean Blue Pine (Pinus PyongYang Mutatis Bwa-ha-ha) on a Buckingham Palace lawn sending shivers of dread among superstitious r...
Read full story89% of married people met their partners at a gay bar
A recent study showed that 89% of the married public met their partners in some form of gay bar.
Read full storyLetters And Phone Calls Flood Obama On Road From Celebs Wanting Cabinet Positions!
Burdened by the daily game of 'Jab Hillary-Jab Obama,' Obama now feels obligated to read celeb mail and take celeb phone calls while on his rigorous political stump.
Read full storyBritney Spears is dating a girl
Britney Spears is confused as we all know but recently she has been spotted with a girl in various places.
Read full storyEnvironmentally friendly ballots will disappear within four days of use
Researchers at the Iowa University of Science and Corn are working to develop environmentally friendly ballots, which can literally disappear within four days of use, and expect them to be available in time for the November presidential elections.
Read full storyPrince William helps to dry Kate Middleton's smalls
As meteorological records show April 3rd 2008 was the least windy day since records began. A high barometric pressure front had settled over Berkshire and although there was great visibility, the sun was not up to full strength becau...
Read full storyMicrosoft Announces Run-For-Office Pro
Redmond, WA - Run For Office Pro is Microsoft Corporation's new product aimed at the growing political campaign market.
Read full storyPete Doherty Isolated In Jail
Druggie Pete Doherty has been given his own blood stained cell in Wormwood Scrubs after several prisoners expressed a desire to have what a prison officer described as "anal relations" with the singer.
Read full storyKarl Rove In Dying Incident
Karl Rove, the infamous republican attack dog and neck tie fashion guru committed a common rookie mistake last night.
Read full storyJohn McCain, Much Older Than Previously Thought
A recent search of the Panamanian archives has uncovered a remarkable discovery, McCain's birth certificate.
Read full storyPrescott - Fat For A Reason
The former deputy prime minister, John "Put 'em up" Prescott has spilled his guts about his eating disorder to newspaper the Sunday Times.
Read full storyCops bust 15 in Max Mosley online Nazi vice raids
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Fifteen people have been arrested after vice cops swooped on a Max Mosley Nazi prostitution and sex-trafficking gang based near a new Scientology temple in the City.
Read full storyApril 20, USA goes to pot
What an incredible 5-fold cornucopia of blessings descended upon the United States of America this propitious day. Pope Benedict XVI continues a historic visit & offers mass at Yankee Stadium. The Dalai Lama XIV arrived a few days ago and toured se...
Read full storyPope to pray for Bush administration victims at Ground Zero
Pope Benedict XVI will pray Sunday for the victims of the George W. Bush administration at the site of the World Trade Centre towers destroyed by the 2001 terrorist attacks as part of his pilgrimage of peace to the US.
Read full storyCheney Says New US Constitution Will Be Drafted By Chinese Scholars
Washington, D.C. - Over the centuries, Chinese scholars have made some of the greatest contributions to the world's legal and political thinking......The "Analects" of Confucius, "The Rites of Zhou" during th...
Read full storyCreationists Revise Their Calculations Following Gods Acceptance of Darwinism
Creationists all around the world are having to revise their thinking of their beliefs following God's admission in a Playboy interview that he lied about the whole 'world-created-in'7-days' thing. "We put all our faith in the Bible", said Billy H...
Read full storyKebab Wars On Britain's Streets
Ruthless Kebab Shop owner Stavros Hovapopathapoulis recruited delivery drivers from Rally and Racing tracks to get the edge over all the other shops on his patch.
Read full storyNew William stunt as he lands chopper in Kate's back passage
RAF Odiham - (Ass Mess): The tribute artiste known as Prince William faces courtmartial after veering off-piste to land an RAF Chinook in Kate Middleton's rural back passage.
Read full storyDoctors' strike forces woman to deliver in taxi
The on-going doctors' strike in Maharashtra forced a woman to deliver in a cab late Saturday evening.
Read full storyIf You Wanted To Take A Pic Of Radders Nude - Think Again!
Americans flocking to see boy wizard Daniel Radcliffe disrobed in his play Equus on Broadway, you have been warned that there is no way in a million years that you will be able to take a picture of him naked. That is right, special procautions have b...
Read full storyArchaeologists uncover remains of Camelot
A team of unbiased UK archaeologists has uncovered what seem to be the remains of a medieval castle they believe was once known as 'Camelot'.
Read full storyHugdens and Tisdale both pregnant by Zac
A few days ago, HSM star Ashley Tisdale announced to fans that she was expecting a little girl with Zac Efron. The star told fans that she was looking forward to a relaxing pregnancy with Zac by her side. However now it looks like her pregnancy will...
Read full storyJohn Prescott: My Bulimia Hell
Former deputy prime minister, John Prescott has confessed to the media why he has been overweight for the past 17 years. Bulimia; Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder in which a sufferer gorges him/herself on food a...
Read full storyDanny Boy Radder's Hunt For The Girl That Stole His Heart
It is almost good enough for a Hollywood script. Famous rich boy sees not-so-famous girl across a room, their eyes lock but circumstance sees girl whisked away.
Read full storyPrescott: Tories make me sick
Whitehall - (Lardarse Mess): Ex UK Prime Monster has said it's the Tory Party that makes him throw up and not gross over-indulgence in pies, hams and beans.
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden is a "Special Needs" child.
The reason for PM Gordon Brown's emergency meeting with President Bush earlier this week has leaked from the top secret Bin Laden Desk at the CIA.
Read full storyTurtles are excellent indicators of the effects of financial climate change
The fact that marine turtles are emerging healthy and buying stock is an excellent indicator of how the effects of the credit and subprime mortgage crises might ultimately effect people, especially those living in the coastline tourist and travel des...
Read full story'A good Cock these days is hard to find' laments Undertones Feargal Sharkey in Hot Press Interview.
Eighties punk singer Feargal Sharkey has lashed out at the lack of big healthy virile cocks that are available for sex at any time of the day or night in an interview with Hot Press magazine to be published later this month.
Read full story"Off Switch" Evolving in Men's Ears
LOS ANGELES-Humans process a lot of information through their ears. Males of the species tend to consider a lot of this information to be superfluous. Apparently, so does Mother Nature.
Read full storyI, ET McCrone Misremembered!
I, ET McCrone, candidate for Prezminister of the USUK has recently been caught in a moment of miremembrance and thus misspeakin'.
Read full storyPapa Panzer: Part Two: The Birth Control Controversy
After the abortion segment of our interview with the one true pope of the one true church, the Panzer Pontiff agreed to answer our questions about the subject of artificial contraception:...
Read full storyRick Astley "let me down" says inflatable sex doll
Eighties Pop Star and Internet Legend Rick Astley was today accused of abandoning a former latex playmate, after winning his record deal.
Read full storyCatastrophic Extraterrestrial Event Expected on 08/08/08
(Washington DC) A shocked Condoleeza Corn emerged from a secret Bush cabinet meeting late today on the verge of tears. The visibly upset Secretary of State was just briefed on grim news from Outer Space by NASA. Extraterrestrials have targeted the Ea...
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