Written by Tragic Rabbit

Sunday, 20 April 2008

image for Environmentally friendly ballots will disappear within four days of use
Don't worry, it won't last long.

Researchers at the Iowa University of Science and Corn are working to develop environmentally friendly ballots, which can literally disappear within four days of use, and expect them to be available in time for the November presidential elections.

What the research team is constructing is a new breed of biodegradable and bioavailable paper suitable for ballots and forms in an effort to reduce the tons of waste that ends up in America's landfills each year.

Bioavailable paper products contain substances that can be absorbed by living systems during their normal physiological functions.

By combining and modifying a variety of bio-based, oil-based and natural polymers, the team seeks to create optimal blends that can be used to make disposable bottles, biomedical transplant devices, fairy gold, Halliburton corporate records, and more.

Working under the direction of Dr. Feng Shui, professor of chemical engineering at Iowa S&C, the team is trying to improve the properties of the biodegradable plastics for real-life products.

That's why the team is investigating how bio-based fillers, such as corn starch and pulp fibers, can be included to reduce the cost in a variety of disposable voter-related applications, such as the completed voter registration forms of Democrats and yard signs touting offensively liberal candidates.

These would all safely disappear into the ecosystem after no more than four days of active life.

According to Mahth Fullarocks, a chemical engineering student at Iowa S&C, "We are not just molding and extruding commercially available biodegrable pulp and resins for use by unscrupulous polling officials.

"We are also incorporating nanotechnology, supercritical fluid technology and graft copolymer compatibilization."

Tragic Rabbit, Rutters, high corn country

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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