Former deputy prime minister, John Prescott has confessed to the media why he has been overweight for the past 17 years. Bulimia; Bulimia Nervosa is an eating disorder in which a sufferer gorges him/herself on food and then vomits it out in the toilet.
The Disease is normally associated with women who are obsessed with their weight - Princess Diana being one of its most famous victims. It can be triggered by a simple remark, if a friend or relative answered 'yes' to the question "Does my bum look BIG in this?"
A tearful John Prescott, weighing in at 15 stone, told In Seine News;
"When I first entered parliament 20 years ago, I bought a new suit and asked my wife, Pauline, "Does my bum look big in this?" Her reply was; "No Honey, of course not!" I then asked friends and work colleagues and they all answered; "no" too."
"Strangely, in the world of politics, my mentor and best friend Tony Blair taught me that 'no' means 'yes' and 'yes' means 'no'. Is it any wonder that kids don't know right from wrong?"
"At first it was a bit confusing but I soon got used to it. Often newspapers would publish headlines like ""No to EU constitution"; "No to MPs pay rises"; "Yes to council tax cuts"; "Yes to harsher prison sentences" - it was a simple code to follow."
Then 3 years into my term of office, my wife was still saying; "No John, your bum doesn't look big"; "No John you can't have sex"; "No John you can't have another Jaguar." life seemed OK. My expenses weren't getting any bigger either and some nights I would go to my favourite Chinese Restaurant and eat the entire menu - comfort food! When I got home, I would be sick, but put it down to the prawns."
"When the media referred to me as "The fat bastard" It didn't occur to me that they were telling the truth. If they knew my parents weren't married, then perhaps the other bit was true as well!"
"It is only since Blair's gone that his hypnotic influence has gone and I'm beginning to emerge into the real world. I have been BRAINWASHED, yes brainwashed by this government."
"I now intend to help fellow male suffers with eating disorders and have already signed up Chris Moyles, Ray Mears and Johnny Vegas." he said.
Mr Prescott has now apologised to his wife, Pauline and has also sold both his Jaguars to his local Tata dealership and has bought a vintage Sinclair C5 instead.
