Whitehall - (Lardarse Mess): Ex UK Prime Monster has said it's the Tory Party that makes him throw up and not gross over-indulgence in pies, hams and beans.
But the Conservatives are having none of it and say that Prescott is a worm who has gorged himself on hubris.
"Just a gut feeling of course," a Central Orifice source said today.
"It all goes back to the 16th century and the Diet of Worms.
"The Diet - or Reichstag zu Worms - was the assembly of estates of the Holy Roman Emperor, a thiefdom....er, fiefdom.... now taken over by the EU on behalf of the Pope.
"Prescott is the New Labour worm who caught something nasty from ex NY governor Eliot Spitzer's Holy Roman Emperor VIP Agency airmiles brothel.
"He's been gorging and purging ever since.
"And blaming a human papillomavirus variant in his gut, caught from some sordid hooker who stuffed him full of salty beaver."
Alistair Darling is 69.
