April 20, USA goes to pot

Funny story written by Walt

Sunday, 20 April 2008

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Mene, mene tekel upharsin

What an incredible 5-fold cornucopia of blessings descended upon the United States of America this propitious day. Pope Benedict XVI continues a historic visit & offers mass at Yankee Stadium. The Dalai Lama XIV arrived a few days ago and toured several cities as part of his trip, before having an annual physical examination at the Mayo Clinic. This particular Sunday is Passover for the Jewish faithful. There is a full Moon. And, at various locations around the nation it is 420 (say "four-twenty), an annual celebration for the use of marijuana; i.e. "pot," particularly on many college campuses.

This tremendous convergence of maximal Kosmic forces upon the contemporary Satanic Empire of Sin may result in a karmic overload far beyond the capacity of bad, nasty, brutish, psychotic right-wing conservatives to maintain their political and economic strangle-holds on the once shining Beacon of Hope.

Obviously, the road shows brought into the USA by a pair of celibate, monkish religious leaders must be viewed as quintessentially hilarious. Against the backdrop of slash & burn sexual promiscuity, these 2 men calmly represent very different perspectives from the rather common pre-marital sex & the sequential polygamy (through serial affairs & divorces) of the American people. News stories about a polygamous religious cult, that may also have a child-bride practice, share top billing with the coverage of these 2 holy men. The Pope even made a specific effort to meet with men who had been harmed as young boys by promiscuous, homosexual, pedophile priests.

Simultaneously, Jews celebrate their exodus from Egypt, that ancient sparing of their first-born, and the week of eating unleavened bread. Meanwhile, our modern High Priest of Mammon, Bu$h xliii or the re-incarnate "Nimrod", wreaks havoc on modern Babylon, which may have been the actual location of "babilu" or "babel" and the source of the City and Tower of Babel story in Genesis 11: 1-9. Shalom! There are many, of course, who perceive Pres. Bush as one who "babbles" in a form of fractured English that defies comprehension.

The full Moon works magick too on various lunaticks and moves the waters, no doubt. Even the tectonic plates of Earth respond to the waxing Moon, and the Midwest experienced an earthquake Friday, April 18, as the world turns. Ya'll might wanta' keep an eye on the Dalai Lama, just in case, ya'heah' now? He was in Minnesota.

In the United States, people use the calendar date notation of "month / day / year," as in 4/20/08. Pot users celebrate April 20 as the notational connection for 420 as a shorthand to identify each other on websites--especially dating, personals, and social venues. Let the fun begin say they.

Signs, omens & portents abound even as prophets attempt to foretell the fantastic future. A gray cloud of smoke rises into the heavens, pungent with the perfume of pot. Holy men criss-cross the nation preaching truth & justice. Sen. Clinton says, "Bush, let my people go." Sen. Obama says, "Follow me to the Promised Land." Lambs without blemish are sacrificed here & there. And the soothsayers prognosticate: "Wow. This is some weird s**t, man!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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