John McCain, Much Older Than Previously Thought

Funny story written by Carmen

Sunday, 20 April 2008

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A recent search of the Panamanian archives has uncovered a remarkable discovery, McCain's birth certificate.

Republican presidential presumptive nominee McCain, previously thought to be 71, is in fact considerably older.

Though badly damaged in a flood caused by the construction of the Panama canal, the certificate appears to indicate that he was in fact born a century earlier. Forensic analysis of the document prove that the '9' in '1936' is in fact an '8', making his date of birth to be August 29, 1836.

At 171, if elected, McCain would become the oldest leader in history, born one month after Queen Victoria acceded to the throne of the British Empire, during the US presidency of the German, Martin Van Buren.

He first showed an interest in politics during Abraham Lincoln's administration, by organizing a political rally in his local neighborhood against the influence of Sunni and Shi'ite factions that eventually caused the American Civil War (or was it the other way round?).

His current campaign for the US Presidency has been largely self-funded, thanks to saving up his pension money for over 100 years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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