Creationists Revise Their Calculations Following Gods Acceptance of Darwinism

Funny story written by Jesus Budda

Sunday, 20 April 2008

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Creationists are more confused than ever

Creationists all around the world are having to revise their thinking of their beliefs following God's admission in a Playboy interview that he lied about the whole 'world-created-in'7-days' thing.

"We put all our faith in the Bible", said Billy Hick, a former devout Christian Fundamentalist, "who would've ever thought that God would tell a lie?".

God's interview, which appears this month alongside an 8-page spread of Mary Magdalene, is the most controversial yet of the Creators.

"Maybe I twisted the facts a little", God spoke solemnly, "I was going for the whole idea of making it easily digestible for stupid folk - but people are much more curious and intelligent nowadays. Except of course those Creationists.

"Darwin hit it right on the nose with that whole selective evolution thing. Heck, I never made humans in my image! Sh*t, if I did then why are so many of 'em so damn ugly?!"

But some extremists are refusing to accept this story. Like, Jennifer Stoopid form Texas:

"Some may call it plain stubbornness. Others may cause it inbreeding and years of sitting around talking nonsense. But it's my faith", she whined while strumming a banjo, "oh, and this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my husband has invested our entire life savings in a Creationist-themed website and bookstore and that if it fails to take off we are seriously f****ed".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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